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Funny satire stories about Pope Francis

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Funny story: Pope Francis touched me on the Nob End

Pope Francis touched me on the Nob End

It was a grey day and my mood wasn't great - someone had stolen my unicycle from outside of Greggs Pie Shop, which, in itself, was a minor miracle, as I had left it outside Starbucks. Feeling depressed, I walked home, the route taking me across Nob...

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Funny story: Vatican to Release New Bible in Modernized Latin

Vatican to Release New Bible in Modernized Latin

VATICAN, ROME - Pope Francis plans to publish a "Modern and Scientific Bible for the World." However, it will be written entirely in Latin, because ... that's what the Catholic Church does. Inside sources say His Holiness has spent over a year on thi...

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Funny story: In Moment of Weakness Pope Tells Trump No Priest Would Have Wanted to Molest Him

In Moment of Weakness Pope Tells Trump No Priest Would Have Wanted to Molest Him

Things grew rather heated in the ongoing dispute between Pope Francis and President Donald Trump regarding Trump's proposed border wall, bringing out lesser sides of both parties. The Pope chastised Trump for wanting to seize the historic La Lomit...

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Funny story: Struggling Catholic Church Lays Off Holy Spirit

Struggling Catholic Church Lays Off Holy Spirit

In the wake of continuing revelations regarding sexual abuse by priests and growing antipathy toward its pro-life/anti-choice stance on abortion, the struggling Catholic Church, unable to sustain a full staff, has laid off the Holy Spirit, long consi...

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Funny story: Vatican Temporarily Sanctions American Suicide

Vatican Temporarily Sanctions American Suicide

In a gesture of solidarity with politically-despondent Americans, the Vatican has announced that for the duration of Donald Trump's presidency, suicide by Americans will not be considered a mortal sin disqualifying them from eternal salvation. "We...

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Funny story: "Baby Jesus Would Adore Globalist Authoritarians"

"Baby Jesus Would Adore Globalist Authoritarians"

VATICAN, ROME - Pope Francis provided a "casual response" to journalists after being asked about "Migrants" and the Border Policy of the United States. Democrats in the US Congress embarked on an "All-Christmas-Long" Media Blitz on how the "Religion...

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Funny story: Christians Follow Pakistan with Campaign for Spoof Writer's Death Sentence

Christians Follow Pakistan with Campaign for Spoof Writer's Death Sentence

"We've had enough of his shit!" says His Holiness Pope Francis, sovereign of the Vatican City State in a personal encyclical on blasphemy, which was read out to congregations worldwide at the weekend. The person to whom he referred, is none other tha...

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Funny story: Pope Francis Canonizes Video Game Character as Saint

Pope Francis Canonizes Video Game Character as Saint

VATICAN CITY - Pope Francis, dressed in a black "Sonic The Hedgehog" t-shirt, blue jeans, and shades, addressed his flock, announcing that the Church would canonize Frisk from "Undertales" as a saint. "Based on the news, someone has to say or do s...

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Funny story: Pope Francis Declares Death Penalty Inadmissible in All Cases, Except for Jesus Christ

Pope Francis Declares Death Penalty Inadmissible in All Cases, Except for Jesus Christ

In a Vatican press conference today, it was announced that Pope Francis has changed the teachings of the Catholic faith to oppose the death penalty in all circumstances, except for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. The new position was met with incred...

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Funny story: Pope Francis Spotted at International Atheist Convention

Pope Francis Spotted at International Atheist Convention

Last weekend came a huge blow to people of faith when Pope Francis was spotted at the International Atheist Convention in Stockholm, Sweden. When questioned about his attendance at the conference, Pope Francis stated that he was there not as a protes...

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Funny story: Religious Leaders Threaten to Impeach God

Religious Leaders Threaten to Impeach God

His purportedly eternal tenure notwithstanding, God may be at risk of losing His job as ruler of the planet, as a number of religious leaders have threatened to impeach Him if they don't see a marked improvement in His performance. Environmentally...

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Funny story: Man With Origami Crane Attacks The Pope, Knocking Him Out

Man With Origami Crane Attacks The Pope, Knocking Him Out

Duluth Minnesota - An angry Duluth man attacked the pope with an origami crane knocking him out cold on Lake Superior where the Pope was holding an ice skating prayer breakfast. The pope was aware of the man's intent and when he saw him approaching...

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Funny story: Girl Steals Hat, Reveals Pope's Illuminati Tattoo

Girl Steals Hat, Reveals Pope's Illuminati Tattoo

When adorable 3 year old Ester Ruth snatched Pope Francis' hat from his head outside of the Vatican, she also revealed a little known fact about the pontiff: Pope Francis has several tattoos including an Illuminati inspired design on the top of his h...

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Funny story: God Files Defamation Lawsuit Against Angel Soft Toilet Paper

God Files Defamation Lawsuit Against Angel Soft Toilet Paper

Vatican City, Italy - God has given word to Pope Francis that he wants the pontiff to file a lawsuit in New Jersey's 2nd appellate court, claiming that Angel Soft toilet paper is guilty of defamation of character against his beloved angels. "God w...

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Funny story: Pope Presides Over Human Sacrifice

Pope Presides Over Human Sacrifice

Pope Francis closed off his visit to Mexico with the ultimate nod of approval to the blending of Catholic teachings with indigenous Mexican spiritual traditions. Donning a Santa Muerta costume, he climbed to the top of a Mayan pyramid to preside...

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Funny story: Pope: Ted Cruz Authorized To Perform Exorcisms

Pope: Ted Cruz Authorized To Perform Exorcisms

Senator Ted Cruz has mockingly been called The Executor, The Inquisitor, as well as The Prosecutor, but Pope Francis revealed that one of Cruz's true titles may be Exorcist - or maybe The Exorcisor in keeping with the spirit of his past nicknames.

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Funny story: The Pope In Mexico

The Pope In Mexico

It was a hot day as Pope Francis addressed over ten thousand people today at the National Auditorium, Mexico City. His Holiness, visibly tired from his hectic days of meetings with local dignitaries, diplomats and politicians seemed very thirsty as he availed himself freely from a large decanter of 'water'placed on a small table by his throne. Pope Francis's Address in Mexico City Raisin...

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