“Harry Maguire Couldn’t Carry My Jock Strap:” Slim Everdingle

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Thursday, 22 August 2019

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Slim And Harry

BILLINGSGATE POST: Urbane multi-culturist and bon-vivant, Slim Everdingle, jumped into the Harry Maguire fray with his spikes high, aimed at the groin area of Everyman’s loudmouth, Harry Maguire.

Citing “Hobson’s choice” protocol, Everdingle indicated that “he would ride the hapless Maguire hard and put him away wet.”

Everdingle, who was a virtual unknown until being featured on the cover of GQ wearing his trademark Fruit of the Loom white tee-shirt and Dickies Coveralls, positioned himself nicely as potentially being the last threshold of defense against the encroaching Harry Maguire hoards, comparing them to the Bolsheviks who brought Mother Russia to her knees.

Slim: “It’s like the Boston Globe having nine stories about Tom Brady and nothing on Coach Bill Belichick.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. You’re right. Harry Maguire couldn’t carry your jock strap.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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