Harry Maguire Upset At Way Social Media Tossers Keep Spelling His Name Wrong

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 13 August 2019

Harry Maguire, the central defender signed by Manchester United from Leicester City only last week, has spoken out against the countless thousands of people using social media who will insist on spelling his surname incorrectly.

Maguire, who cost the Old Trafford club £80million, is the most expensive defender in the world, but there are still many people unaware of the proper spelling of his name.

Said Maguire:

"It's quite annoying, really. There are lots of people who spell it 'McGuire', and then there are those that spell it 'MacGuire', but it's neither of these. What a load of dickheads! I'm furious."

A variation that Maguire had obviously not seen, was spotted by us, on Facebook, where some half-brain had managed to come up with 'McQuire'. It takes some believing, doesn't it?

Harry's name will, of course, become more familiar as time goes on, but, in the meantime, it looks like he'll have to put up with different versions of it from uneducated, illiterate, lazy morons who just can't be bothered to find out the correct letters in it for themselves, before they go adding their bollox to the internet.

Facebook impressario, Mark Suckerberg, has been notified.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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