Just Another Bombtrack

Funny story written by Backandtotheleft

Tuesday, 30 July 2019

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".....I've always liked the idea of blowing up the moon....any ideas on that?"

The US Senate has failed in its attempt to stop the sale of over £8billion worth of weapons to Saudi Arabia. President Trump had issued a special “National Emergency Declaration” to push the sales though. The “national emergency” presumably being there are still a few Yemenis walking round with all four limbs.

Saudi Arabia is the largest importer of weapons in the Middle East.
An area of the world that, if you could say doesn’t need one thing, it would be more weapons. They have been involved in a campaign of brutal genocide for a number of years, and are clearly looking forward to pushing on in what are exciting times for warfare.

Mr Trump said:

"Without precision-guided munitions, more - not fewer - civilians are likely to become casualties". (We understand that normally at BATTL news we may “sex” up our quotes to make them even more bat-shit crazy, but we promise this is an actual quote, from his own lips. This world is fucked.)

Rex Dillinger from the Institute of Blowing Up Brown People For Oil, said:

"For those wishy-washy liberals crying about how many children are going to get blown up, I’ve got a newsflash for you. There is a direct link between children and terrorism, and this is a fact. All terrorists were children at some point in their lives, so by selling Saudi Arabia the tools to blow up a primary school, we are, in fact, winning the war on terror. That’s another fact."

Although we type this with our bellies full of hatred and whiskey, we can’t help but know that some of those bombs and missiles raining down on complete strangers on the other side of the world…..have Union Jacks on them.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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