CNN to receive Horace S Ball award for distinguished journalism no malarkey

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Sunday, 21 July 2019

image for CNN to receive Horace S Ball award for distinguished journalism no malarkey
Horace S. Ball is rumored to have gathered and swept up inspiration from Voltaire his favorite horse

The Horace S. Ball Foundation has awarded its prized annual trophy to CNN.

This distinguished trophy honors Horace Shinola Ball, of the previous century.

In making its selection, The Foundation directed its attention to the following.

A recent news piece in CNN headlines on Julian Assange has been judged outstanding on the workmanship in question.

Hollywood has its eyes on the narrative, possibly starring Rachel Maddow as Julian Assange, an unusual case of cross-casting.

The story begins with Assange, still sucking his thumb, engrossed with Marx and Lenin to the exclusion of paying attention to where he is walking.

By the time he’s in the Ecuador Embassy, it is obvious this step has been planned for several years.

Assange is particularly interested in applying his “fecal-art-de-nouveau” expressions on any available walls.

Deeply embroiled with that other commie rat, Rafael Correa, the plan all along (for years!) was to assault the Democratic National Convention and ruin Hillary Clinton.

At the time, the DNC was honorably and tirelessly fixing the election for Hillary Clinton’s nomination, while utilizing a number of ingenious tactics--as with allowing her to investigate debate questions ahead of time.

Back to the Assange story--the dirt on him is like a mound of it in the backyard.

No less than Vlad the Bad was also involved, whispering and talking into a telephone out of the side of his mouth.


Because this nasty piece of work Assange was bent on nothing but attacking the honest and God-fearing electoral processes going on at that time.

And he must be brought to the United States following his extradition so that the stage is set for The Public to view this monster of duplicity, and stand by for his execution.

As to the counter-story from the Hysterical-Rabid-Left, there is nothing to the simple idea that Assange was only this: a journalist publishing the crimes of a government run amok in Washington.

CNN's Response:

"Absolutely and totally, these are the craven ravings of lunatics out of touch with reality!"

This was the spirited reply, with hand-clapping from the Horace S. Ball Foundation at the rear of the auditorium.

(Breaking) on the forthcoming movie—

John Bolton has volunteered to play Assange instead of Rachel Maddow. He will die his hair yellow and his mustache black for the purpose.

She will assume the role of Rafael Correa.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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