Ecuadorian Embassy Turned Into Julian Assange's Own Dirty F-ing Art Studio

Written by C/L

Saturday, 27 April 2019

image for Ecuadorian Embassy Turned Into Julian Assange's Own Dirty F-ing Art Studio
"Toilet Filled with Accusations of Treason Against Me" is just code for toilet full of shit and paper.

Ecuadorian officials just simply had enough of Julian Assange's "artistic endeavors".

"Assange said that he was making art in the spirit of conceptual artistic great, Piero Manzoni. At first the staff found it to be intellectually challenging and deep but after a while, it was just dirty, fucking-shit!"

Manzoni had preserved ninety tin cans of his own poop in the early 1960's, which was edgy and cool because you aren't quite sure if there actually is human shit in those cans, or if they're just full of plaster. The poop is out of sight, so people can feel dangerous and dirty as well as feeling safe and clean at the same time. Assange's projects on the other hand are far from edgy and cool, they're honestly just fucking disgusting!

Some embassy officials were alarmed and angered when Assange allegedly smeared shit on the walls. When he was pressed on the subject Assange told people that it was just some lava cake mixed with stink bomb to give it that poop odor. But some weren't buying it!

Assange also described his other unhygienic activities as conceptual expressions which he gave the most ridiculous frigging titles.

His first work was called: 'Toilet Filled with Accusations of Treason Against Me." Which is just code for toilet full of shit and paper.

His next work was called: 'Commando Hacker Unbound', or dirty undies every where with possible stripes in them.

Ecuador's President said that, "We were tolerant and open minded in the beginning. I was on board with his conceptual artistic expressions, even though many were odd and some were abhorrent. When he started being coprophagous that's when he crossed the line!

"Not only was he smearing shit, but he was talking it too. Assange commented on the political affairs of other nations and we had agreed that he would keep his mouth shut."

As tensions rose between the president and Assange, photos leaked of a mural that Assange had created on the walls of his living space, taken from a snapshot of the president eating lobster off of his wife's ass in bed, while on vacation. It's safe to say that the subject of the mural, along with the shit medium he used to paint it, was the last straw for the Ecuadorans.

Needless to say that's why they had the "Bobbies" haul his ass the hell out of the Embassy."

The room in which he was residing is so thoroughly fucked, that the Ecuadorians said that they may have to throw a Molotov cocktail into it to cleanse it with fire!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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