CBP staff with internal review and solid proof AOC is full of baloney

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Sunday, 7 July 2019

image for CBP staff with internal review and solid proof AOC is full of baloney
CBP sign: This is not Death Valley but it’s close

The problem at the border includes hordes of women and children, with parents separated from their kids, and kept in “concentration camps.”

Into this hurly-burly came Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC), interviewing the inmates. She reported they had been told to drink the toilet water, kids were punished by sleeping on the floor, plus air-conditioning turned up to add to the misery . . .

Additionally, recent TV news has shown some of these guards in the desert kicking water bottles over with an air of triumph, or leering into the camera while emptying a particular bottle.

In a related case, Scott Warren is a doctor charged with aiding and abetting migrants crossing the desert.

Recently a hung jury dismissed Mr. Warren’s case, after his arrest in January, 2018, for helping illegal migrants struggling in the desert.

His assistance included giving food and water, medical attention, and advice on how to avoid border patrol agents.

He is now facing re-trial, and at least ten years in prison.

Accordingly, CBP (Customs Border Patrol) has sought deeply into the bowels of itself for a review.


CBP is clean as the proverbial whistle after boiling inside a stainless steel pan for fifteen minutes.

The situation does NOT mean that desperate people, flung from their homelands - much of that due to US actions - have swarmed toward the border, plus brutal guards with psychopathic tendencies.

The System is clean and orderly with dedicated officials fully armed for all contingencies.

Specifics (from CBP):

*Our toilets are top quality, including the water. It is perfectly all right to drink out of them, no matter what Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez says.

*Not that we necessarily recommend it. That would be an inmate’s choice. We would not serve it to Mr. Trump.

*Now, as to our floors, they are hard. In fact, we would have it no other way, as everything about our operation must be hard.

*And we can turn up the air-conditioning and take away blankets—it’s in the contract.

*But sleeping on the floor is really nothing. Children especially, and some adults, need discipline. They need to be taught what pain is, so that they will mature into cooperating adults.

*As to Mr. Warren, the good samaritan, well, put it this way: under this administration Jesus Christ himself would be put on trial, and if another hung jury? Tried again!

*We are absolutely not a ‘culture of cruelty’! We protect the nation’s borders against criminals and terrorists!

Mr. Trump has praised CBP “for defending the homeland against the invaders.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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