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Froomes Zoom Juice

Funny story: Froomes Zoom Juice

Chris Froome will be allowed to race in the Tour De France after all doping charges against him were dropped. Prosecutors said: "No one fucking watches cycling anyway so who cares?" The four time Tour winner has been under investigation for 7 m...

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Tour de France Bike Safety Changes

Funny story: Tour de France Bike Safety Changes

The Tour de France, cycling's premier, most prestigious, most demanding and, arguably, most dangerous challenge, is going soft, it has been reported. The gruelling event where many of the seasoned and ultra-fit competitors consider it a lifetime a...

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Tour de France 2018: The 'All You Need To Know' Survival Guide

Funny story: Tour de France 2018: The 'All You Need To Know' Survival Guide

The Tour de France, that supreme test of human endurance, determination, strength and skill, is almost upon us once again, and, for the keen cycling fans amongst our readers, here is a carefully-compiled Survival Guide for this year's event. The 2018 Tour will once again be raced over 22 stages, for a total of 2,069 km (3,329 m). The race will start with a total of 188 riders spread amongst 11...

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Cycling 'With No Hands' Gets Nod

Funny story: Cycling 'With No Hands' Gets Nod

Cyclists who ride their bicycles with 'no hands' have been celebrating this morning after it was announced that the practice has been recognised as an individual discipline, and is to be considered for possible inclusion in the next-but-one Olympic G...

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London Cyclists Collaborate With Ministry Of Defence On Camouflage Design

Funny story: London Cyclists Collaborate With Ministry Of Defence On Camouflage Design

'Camouflage is critical in giving our troops every advantage in battle,' Air Chief Marshal Sir Stuart Peach, Chief of the Defence Staff, told a London press conference this month. 'This is why we've worked extensively with London cyclists to enhance...

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Yardley cyclist arrested for improper attire

Joe Plano, 36 of Yardley was jailed Thursday afternoon for willful ignorance of borough bicycle attire ordinance. "Mr. Plano" sheriff Brockington said "had been warned several times about this but has refused to fall in line" The accused was...

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Riderless Bicycles in London by 2020

Boris Johnson as vowed that riderless bicycles will be common on UK streets by 2020, and has printed 50 million pounds of public funds toward the project. The bicycles, the result of a government think tank on new pedastrain propulsion systems, wi...

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Pre Tour de France Stages to feature stabilisers

Top World Cyclists are, incredibly, to use bikes with stabilisers.. Stabilisers are a device associated with small children learning to balance on a two-wheeler. Sir Bradley Wigan, Tour De France Champion, says the move is 'the business' in tha...

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Nissan to enter Tour De France with Electric Bikes

Funny story: Nissan to enter Tour De France with Electric Bikes

After Nissan's recent announcement that it would enter the Le Mans 24 hour motor race in 2015 if it is allowed to build a car outside of the rules that everyone else must abide by, it appears that they have also turned their sights on The Tour de Fra...

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Government Announces Plans To Reduce Road Accidents Involving Cyclists

Funny story: Government Announces Plans To Reduce Road Accidents Involving Cyclists

The Government has today announced plans aimed at reducing the number of road accidents involving cyclists. 'Successive governments have been worried about the safety of cyclists in Britain for very many years,' admitted Secretary of State for Tra...

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Boris to close down the Underground.

Funny story: Boris to close down the Underground.

London Mayor Boris Johnson today released plans to completely close the tube network. It will be replaced by an exclusive underground cycle path. "Look I hate the Tube it's no secret." Johnson told the press "I really want to have it so that there...

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US legal system seduced by 'Armstrong Appeal'

Funny story: US legal system seduced by 'Armstrong Appeal'

The recent heart-warming words of Lance Armstrong have inspired a wave of appeals from prisoners on Death Row in America to commute their sentences to a 'life-time ban from competitive cycling'. US legal experts are said to be scratching their he...

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Lance Armstrong stripped of cancer victory

ATLANTA, GA-In response to disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong's admission that he had used performance-enhancing drugs, the American Cancer Society announced today that it had stripped Armstrong of his 1997 victory over cancer, and the 42-year-old...

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Lance Armstrong Seen Pushing His Bike Uphill

Funny story: Lance Armstrong Seen Pushing His Bike Uphill

Los Angeles, CA - The seven-time "winner" of the Tour De France, now the piƱata of the sports world, Lance Armstrong, has been spotted by several people, pushing his bike up the steep canyon roads around L.A. recently. "I'd recognize those glutes...

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Lance Armstrong To Lose Right To Be Called Lance Armstrong

Funny story: Lance Armstrong To Lose Right To Be Called Lance Armstrong

Cycling legend Lance Armstrong, who has recently been stripped of his seven Tour de France victories because of as-yet-unproven drug-taking allegations, is rumoured to be in danger of losing his right to be called Lance Armstrong. The rumour, star...

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Chief Whip to attempt Knievel-style jump of Whitehall gate

Funny story: Chief Whip to attempt Knievel-style jump of Whitehall gate

After yet another abortive attempt by Andrew Mitchell to use the main vehicle gate into Whitehall, the two sides of the Gate Gate conflict have have been outlining their next move. The police have reiterated their determination not to open the Big...

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Chief Whip in Cycle rage with police

Funny story: Chief Whip in Cycle rage with police

The Governments Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell today faced calls for his resignation after a four letter strewn rant with police at Downing Street. The argument started when an officer told Mr Mitchell to use the rear entrance. This angered Mr Mitchell a...

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Lance Armstrong announces new challenge after doping charges

Funny story: Lance Armstrong announces new challenge after doping charges

Seven times Tour De France winner Lance Armstrong today addressed the media for the first time since revealing he will not fight the doping charges brought against him by the USADA (US Anti-Doping Agency), and instead he will actually be cycling to t...

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