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Funny satire stories about Cycling

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Funny story: Tour de France Won By Rider With Unpronounceable Name

Tour de France Won By Rider With Unpronounceable Name

The Tour de France, cycling's greatest challenge, a three-week endurance test that certainly sorts the men from the boys, rolled into Paris for its final stage yesterday, and the rider who finished ahead of all the others, this year's champion, was T...

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Funny story: Mark Cavendish Missing Tour de France Due to Lycra Allergy

Mark Cavendish Missing Tour de France Due to Lycra Allergy

Mark Cavendish is one of the greatest British cyclists of all time, with more than 140 professional wins to his name: 48 stage wins across all three Grand Tours with a points classification jersey at each, as well as a world and a national road race...

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Funny story: Tour De France Start Delayed After Rider Rips His Knackers On Seat

Tour De France Start Delayed After Rider Rips His Knackers On Seat

The first stage of the Tour de France was delayed in Brussels yesterday, after one of the riders injured his testicles on the narrow strip of leather that passes for the saddle on his bike. Thierry Ballax, who rides for the Painful-Castrata team,...

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Funny story: Lance Armstrong Denies Being First Man On The Moon

Lance Armstrong Denies Being First Man On The Moon

The former cyclist Lance Armstrong has reacted angrily to allegations that he was the first man to walk on the Moon. Armstrong, now 47, won the Tour de France an unprecedented seven times in succession between 1999 and 2005, before being exposed a...

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Funny story: Man's Bicycle Chain Came Off When He Stood Up To Pedal

Man's Bicycle Chain Came Off When He Stood Up To Pedal

A pleasant afternoon cycling through country lanes turned sour for one man at the weekend, when, coming to a slight incline in the road, and rising out of his seat to exert extra force with his legs, his chain came off, and he plunged earthwards, bef...

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Funny story: Froomes Zoom Juice

Froomes Zoom Juice

Chris Froome will be allowed to race in the Tour De France after all doping charges against him were dropped. Prosecutors said: "No one fucking watches cycling anyway so who cares?" The four time Tour winner has been under investigation for 7 m...

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Funny story: Tour de France Bike Safety Changes

Tour de France Bike Safety Changes

The Tour de France, cycling's premier, most prestigious, most demanding and, arguably, most dangerous challenge, is going soft, it has been reported. The gruelling event where many of the seasoned and ultra-fit competitors consider it a lifetime a...

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Funny story: Tour de France 2018: The 'All You Need To Know' Survival Guide

Tour de France 2018: The 'All You Need To Know' Survival Guide

The Tour de France, that supreme test of human endurance, determination, strength and skill, is almost upon us once again, and, for the keen cycling fans amongst our readers, here is a carefully-compiled Survival Guide for this year's event. The 2018 Tour will once again be raced over 22 stages, for a total of 2,069 km (3,329 m). The race will start with a total of 188 riders spread amongst 11...

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Funny story: Cycling 'With No Hands' Gets Nod

Cycling 'With No Hands' Gets Nod

Cyclists who ride their bicycles with 'no hands' have been celebrating this morning after it was announced that the practice has been recognised as an individual discipline, and is to be considered for possible inclusion in the next-but-one Olympic G...

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Funny story: London Cyclists Collaborate With Ministry Of Defence On Camouflage Design

London Cyclists Collaborate With Ministry Of Defence On Camouflage Design

'Camouflage is critical in giving our troops every advantage in battle,' Air Chief Marshal Sir Stuart Peach, Chief of the Defence Staff, told a London press conference this month. 'This is why we've worked extensively with London cyclists to enhance...

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Funny story: Yardley cyclist arrested for improper attire

Yardley cyclist arrested for improper attire

Joe Plano, 36 of Yardley was jailed Thursday afternoon for willful ignorance of borough bicycle attire ordinance. "Mr. Plano" sheriff Brockington said "had been warned several times about this but has refused to fall in line" The accused was...

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Funny story: Riderless Bicycles in London by 2020

Riderless Bicycles in London by 2020

Boris Johnson as vowed that riderless bicycles will be common on UK streets by 2020, and has printed 50 million pounds of public funds toward the project. The bicycles, the result of a government think tank on new pedastrain propulsion systems, wi...

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Funny story: Pre Tour de France Stages to feature stabilisers

Pre Tour de France Stages to feature stabilisers

Top World Cyclists are, incredibly, to use bikes with stabilisers.. Stabilisers are a device associated with small children learning to balance on a two-wheeler. Sir Bradley Wigan, Tour De France Champion, says the move is 'the business' in tha...

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Funny story: Nissan to enter Tour De France with Electric Bikes

Nissan to enter Tour De France with Electric Bikes

After Nissan's recent announcement that it would enter the Le Mans 24 hour motor race in 2015 if it is allowed to build a car outside of the rules that everyone else must abide by, it appears that they have also turned their sights on The Tour de Fra...

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Funny story: Government Announces Plans To Reduce Road Accidents Involving Cyclists

Government Announces Plans To Reduce Road Accidents Involving Cyclists

The Government has today announced plans aimed at reducing the number of road accidents involving cyclists. 'Successive governments have been worried about the safety of cyclists in Britain for very many years,' admitted Secretary of State for Tra...

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Funny story: Boris to close down the Underground.

Boris to close down the Underground.

London Mayor Boris Johnson today released plans to completely close the tube network. It will be replaced by an exclusive underground cycle path. "Look I hate the Tube it's no secret." Johnson told the press "I really want to have it so that there...

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Funny story: US legal system seduced by 'Armstrong Appeal'

US legal system seduced by 'Armstrong Appeal'

The recent heart-warming words of Lance Armstrong have inspired a wave of appeals from prisoners on Death Row in America to commute their sentences to a 'life-time ban from competitive cycling'. US legal experts are said to be scratching their he...

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