Black Holes: Potential For Environmental Waste Disposal 'Enormous', Claims Man

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 13 April 2019

image for Black Holes: Potential For Environmental Waste Disposal 'Enormous', Claims Man
Destination: Powehi

A man with a periphary interest in science has outlined what he says are potentially planet-saving proposals for dealing with the Earth's problems regarding the safe disposal of environmental waste.

Moys Kenwood, 55, says that black holes hold the key to a safe and waste-free future.

"I was sitting on the toilet the other day, thinking about black holes. It's common knowledge that black holes have a gravitational force so strong that not even particles or electromagnetic radiation such as light can escape from them, and the rest, as they say, just fell into place."

The thing that fell into place, was this:

"Well, I thought, if black holes attract everything, and reject nothing, they probably won't complain about a few trillion tonnes of toxic waste from Earth. Indeed, a black hole would probably be overjoyed at the prospect, adding to its overall mass, as it would."

There is already a problem, however.

"Getting the waste to the black hole is going to be a big job. I understand it's quite a distance from here, but the rewards will be enormous."

He is currently giving the project some more thought.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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