Melania Trump's New Be A Beast Campaign

Written by C/L

Wednesday, 8 May 2019

image for Melania Trump's New Be A Beast Campaign

WASHINGTON- We know how hard Melania Trump has worked at spreading the message of her "Be Best" campaign. She has been relying on her public image to promote the child-focused platform committed to well-being and kindness.

Unfortunately, Melania Trump has run out of patience for her efforts.

She is flanked by nasty Donald, and a sleazy, angry, entourage of misfits, rejects, and downright sinister characters who staff the administration, and other rich jerks who mockingly partner with her in her anti-bullying efforts.

"THAT'S IT!.. I've been all over the country and the globe, attending events, meeting with heads of state, and all it ever gets me is an earful of their bullshit! They sarcastically support my initiatives, with mocking lip-service, all the while sustaining their own ruthless, authoritarian behavior. Well, I've fucking had it!"

Mrs. Trump is tired of pretending that Donald is just unfiltered, and that his behavior is simply strident and unwavering.

"He's a pig and a stupid shit. I've spent so many years trying to avoid it or overlook it, but I can't anymore. I'm officially changing my "Be Best" campaign to my "Be a Beast" campaign! The "Be a Beast" campaign will be a 180-degree turn, embracing and celebrating ignorance, sexual impropriety, bullying, and violence."

Mrs. Trump has described the "Be a Beast" campaign as a simple initiative to allow children and parents to give in to their baser instincts in much the same way Donald does.

"Let children run wild, and be unaccountable for their actions! Let them engage in vandalism, arson, and rude behavior. Let them lie, cheat, and steal! Let them watch pornography, sell drugs, and settle all of their disagreements with violence. Let them believe the most ludicrous notions, while disrespecting math, science, and all of the humanities! Let's give full vent to a world of Idiocracy, and celebrate its pinnacle achievement, putting my stupid husband Donald "Jerk" Trump into office!"

A part of Mrs. Trump is hoping that this will all be a sort of reverse psychology, but in all likelihood, it's just idiotic fuel for the dumb-ass fire!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more