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Funny satire stories about Premiership

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The Pre-Season Games

Professional “bitcher” and part time Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, has claimed unless he’s allowed to sign all the players he wants, United could have a “very difficult season”. He is quoted as saying: "My CEO knows what I want. I k...

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Mourinho Spending Spree

Despite this season being a catastrophic failure of somewhat epic proportions Manchester United manager, Jose Maureen, will more than likely be handed even more money to throw at his failing team. The subsequent spending spree will more than like...

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Mourinho Bites Back

Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, has launched into a astonishing defence of his time at United. Predictably blaming anything and everything but himself for a string of mediocre performances throughout the season. He said: Against Sevil...

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Sunderland Struggle

In an announcement that has shocked no one Northern Ireland manager Michael O'Neil has said he's "not interested in the Sunderland job". Which came as a surprise to Sunderland as, up to that point, they'd not approached him. Michael joins a long...

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Carricks Conundrum

Jose Mourinho has sensationally revealed to Back and to the Left news why "past it" midfielder Michael Carrick hasn't had much playing time. The Portuguese with the Napoleon complex waved his hands around a lot before fixing us with those piggy littl...

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Barry Battles On

After Gareth Barry (the player so boring they gave him two first names) made his record breaking 602nd Premier League appearance his manager Tony Pulis ominously said: He can play for another three years Before strangely adding Even if he do...

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Philippes Fed Up

Back and to the Left news follows sport purely for the hyperbole. Especially the shrieking nonsense that follows every single decision at Arsenal football club, our favourite punch line. So in the spirit of all things fair we'll write a article ab...

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Sunderland Spiteback

Funny story: Sunderland Spiteback

In an astonishing response to Sunderland midfielder Darren Gibson slating his city the Mayor of Sunderland has released this statement: "Let me start by saying Darren Gibson is a round chested, no class cunt who would injure himself wiping his ars...

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Sunday Bloody Sunderland

Funny story: Sunday Bloody Sunderland

Sunderland midfielder Darren Gibson has confirmed what the rest of the world already knows: that Sunderland are shite. Darren, who himself is quite shite, was caught on camera slagging off everything he could about the team, the city, his neighbou...

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Pre Season Permutations

Pre season for footballers is completely insane. Respected journalists lose their shit at hearing a drunk man at a bar saying Ronaldo is going to Juventus. People believe that players are moving clubs just because one of their social media team has l...

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Claudio Ranieri wins "UK 2017 Sack Race"!

Funny story: Claudio Ranieri wins "UK 2017 Sack Race"!

The annual national sack race that takes place in England around this time has been won by a rank outsider, Claudio Ranieri, of Italian origin, but residing in the stormy land of Leicester, UK. Previous winners, Jose Mourinho, Big Sam Allardyce, L...

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The Problem With Pep

After even more holes were shot into St Pep's wings by the incomparable lad Jamie Vardy (who celebrated his hat trick with two kebabs and a packet of Marlborough) we caught up with the Manchester City Maestro to find out what was going wrong. When...

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Saudi Cash Injection

According to a think tank of "investment consultants" (read: probable wankers) a large group of Saudi Arabian investors are looking to invest in a number of "top London" football clubs. A statement which immediately ruled Tottenham Hotspur out of the...

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"Stratfords' Olympic Athletics Stadium to be rebranded as THE ANTS NEST!" states the Duchess of Knightsbridge.

Funny story: "Stratfords' Olympic Athletics Stadium to be rebranded as THE ANTS NEST!" states the Duchess of Knightsbridge.

THE ANTS NEST, Stratford, LONDON: In developments that have even taken the footballing world by surprise, Ms Karen Brady, known by her world wide name as the Duchess of Knightsbridge, has revealed a new rebranding development! "Stratfords' Olympi...

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"Why were 300 Upton Park stewards sacked?" shrieks the Duchess of Knightsbridge.

Funny story: "Why were 300 Upton Park stewards sacked?" shrieks the Duchess of Knightsbridge.

THE Athletics Stadium, Stratford, LONDON: Following the manhandling ejection of the Duchess of Knightsbridge from the London Stadium, whilst the 'Duchess' was standing up singing the West Ham National anthem and being labelled a 'trouble-maker', ser...

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The Pog Returns

In the most surprising move of the summers transfer window amateur rapper, style icon and part time footballer Paul Pogba has joined Manchester United in a word record £105million quid deal. The deal was finally pushed through in the early hours o...

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Transfer Speculation Part Three

More transfer news coming at you quicker than a speeding train as you lie on the tracks of life. After keeping our ears on the ground and risking getting trampled on Back and to the Left news have caught wind of five more transfer "done" deals. •...

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Feeding Frenzy In The Transfer Market

Premier League clubs have spent £475million in the month of July! Meaning on average £15.3 million a day, £634K a hour, £10K a minute and £177 a second is haemorrhaging out the clubs like blood from a stab victim. We grabbed one frightened officia...

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Breaking news…

Trump Said News Media The Enemy

Trump said the news media was the enemy of the people. Saudi newsman Jamal Khashoggi was critical of the Saudi government, then goes missing in the Saudi Embassy in Turkey? Looks like a green light.
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