Trump Doubts Existence of Black Hole

Written by Chris Dahl

Sunday, 21 April 2019

image for Trump Doubts Existence of Black Hole
You can’t see a hole. It’s just not there. I realized that the other days when I was having a few donuts.

Scientists announced last week that a string of high-powered telescopes to capture a first-ever image of a black hole, a “supermassive” black hole named M87.

This week President Donald Trump, a notorious doubter of scientific conclusions, editorialized on this significant breakthrough.

“I don’t get it,” POTUS 45 posited. “They say they took a picture of a hole, like a black hole nonetheless, am I right? That’s what I don’t get. You can’t see a hole. It’s just not there. I realized that at Dunkin Donuts the other days when I was having a few donuts. I was looking at the hole in the middle and I was like, ‘I can’t see anything!’ So, how can you take a picture of something you can’t see, like a black hole? Am I right? Then I got really confused ‘cause then I got what they called donut holes, the part from the middle, and I could actually see that. I took my phone out and took a picture of it. Guess what? It worked! So, I think those scientists got it wrong just like they’re wrong about global warming.”

When confronted by CNN’s Jim Acosta, who stated that the two weren’t exactly the same, Trump went on undeterred: “And it’s black. How can you take a picture of something that’s black out there in space? Have you ever seen space? I have. I’ve seen it up close and personal with some very smart people and it’s really dark, like totally black. So, I don’t know. I mean, if they got a picture of a white hole, which would make sense, right?”

It was explained to Trump by Jan Ferguson of Scientific American, that “the presence of a black hole can be inferred through its interaction with other matter and with electromagnetic radiation such as visible light.”

But Trump grasped the upper-hand by stating: “Yeah, like the donut hole. I could take a picture of that, but I couldn’t see the actual hole in the donut, right? Makes sense. But you’re still taking a picture of the donut hole and not the hole in the donut, right? You gotta admit that.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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