Trump's Tweets - What The Heck Do They Mean?!

Written by Stefano M. Stefano

Wednesday, 20 March 2019

After several disparaging tweets regarding the 7-months-dead war hero, Senator John McCain, some people are wondering why Trump is saying these things.

Personnel at Belgium's Frippenlooper Institute for the Analysis of Sociological Phenomena have been working 24/7 analyzing Trump's tweets for their hidden meaning.

A sample; 2/23/2019 - "I hate apple pie and baseball! In fact, I hate baseball and apple pie more than I hate apple pie and baseball!"

"I believe we're close to figuring out what he really means. We do have over 20,000 tweets to analyze and discuss," Director Johann Frederick Frippenlooper told reporters.

Another sample; 2/24/2018 - "Christmas is for losers! You never get what you want! Like a 'NO COLLUSION' tee-shirt or a gold-plated Air Force One aero plane from your wife! America stinks!"

There have been rumors that Trump is saying these things because he never wanted to be President, and is trying to sabotage his 2020 Presidential campaign by insulting those things that are near and dear to Americans.
3/3/2019 - "'Game of Thrones' is for total losers and is created by the fake media with fake dragons and very unintelligent, unsmart people (Dems!) Everyone that watches that dumb show should get 80 billions volts of electrocution! P.S. NO COLLUSION! Rudy said so!"

Unfortunately, supporters of Trump seem oblivious to his rants against America. Case in point, MAGA supporter, Brad Pfunnensack of Kentucky, who said, "There's a old saying from 2-and-a-half years ago, remember? 'He says what he means and means what he says! Period!'"

When Mr. Pfuffensack was told that Trump tweeted out, "Abraham Lincoln was such a loser! As President he should have just moved out of the way of those bullets! Guess he deserved to die because he liked those black people too much! P.S. Fake Mueller investigation! They'll never find the guy I put that hit on back in '97!"

"Oh, well...uhhhhh...How about that Lebron James, eh?! What a player!" was all the MAGA man could say.

And lastly, this telling tweet; 3/19/2019 - "America is a bad place and I hate being President!!!!!!!!!"

The Frippenlooper Institute is continuing to analyze this mystery for the truth.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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