Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Tuesday, 5 February 2019

Sitting behind President Donald Trump at the State of the Union speech a year ago were Senate leader Mitch McConnell and House Speaker Paul Ryan. Every time the president made a point appealing to Republicans, McConnell and Ryan were on their feet, applauding. They did that so often, that fact-checkers lost count of the number of times these Jumping Jacks stood. They won't have that problem tonight.

Odds makers in Las Vegas say it's even money that Nancy Pelosi will stand to applaud the president once during tonight's speech. But a dollar bet that she'll rise to clap more than once could win you a pot full of money. You'll collect two for one if she rises and applauds twice. If she's up five times, you'll collect 100 to 1. Las Vegas won't even accept a bet for more than ten rising applauds by Pelosi.

For McConnell, he has to rise twenty times before you even get your dollar back, plus one from the bookies.

The smart money says to bet Nancy will rise to applaud twice: once when Trump introduces a war hero, and once when Trump finishes. McConnell will be so exhausted from popping up, that he may sit out the final applause-deserving statements by the Chief.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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