Written by Wesley Janson

Thursday, 7 March 2019

image for Man Takes "Day Off" Due To Job Exhaustion And Midlife Crisis

California. In a move that was seen as both shocking and highly unanticipated by fellow co-workers, Michael Herring, 48, took a day off work and stayed home last week on Thursday, February 28th.

Feeling exhausted, depressed, burned out, and 'just plain sick' of all the bullshit at his place of employment, the Professor of Mathematics at Carlston University spent the entire day wishing he had made better choices in his youth.

Acknowledging that he could have been an assembly line supervisor, a bank teller, or even a prison guard if he had only followed his 'working class' dreams instead of his natural talent for numbers and highly advanced formulas, Mr. Herring lethargically browsed for jobs on his home computer wondering if there was 'something else' out there.

With his recent promotion to "Department Head" and his current annual salary of $145,000 expected to increase, Michael wearily accepted the fact that it may be too late to change the direction of his life.

According to some students, however, there were subtle warning signs during the past few weeks that he was about to take some time off due to personal unhappiness and overall career dissatisfaction.

Jeremy Nagel, 20, said he would often walk into class, look at his watch, and then proceed to teach Calculus 3 as if he simply wanted the day to be over.

Statements such as "I wish the goddamn weekend was here," and "Fuck! It's only Wednesday!" also provided hints that the professor was going through an intense midlife burnout.

His 39-year-old wife, Angie Herring, who works as a professional nurse in the Urology Department at St. Mary's Hospital and spends most of her time removing catheters from penises, came home later that evening and understood exactly how he felt.

Experiencing some fatigue herself, she recommended that they both 'get away from everything' in July by taking a wonderful vacation in Iowa with some potential 'sight-seeing' in the southern portion of Minnesota.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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