Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 7 March 2019

image for Man Suffers Multiple Injuries After Ride In Tuk Tuk
Comfort is not a priority

A man is recovering at home this morning, after a bonecrushing ride in a Tuk Tuk yesterday, left him with injuries in places he didn't know you could be injured.

Moys Kenwood, 55, of Tapon commune, was in Battambang town center with his family, and agreed to ride in the Tuk Tuk only as a last resort, knowing how uncomfortable they could be. He boarded the vehicle with trepidation, and took his seat, dreading the next 45 minutes.

Almost immediately, he was made to rue his decision. The three-wheeled contraption chugged along the town's roads in a jerky fashion, which did nothing to dissuade anyone of a nervous disposition from thinking that doom lay ahead.

The Tuk Tuk's driver sought out every pothole, every crack, every half-brick in the road, and his steed almost toppled over every time it tried to round a bend.

As it traversed the uneven terrain of the road to Baset, Kenwood was thrown around like the last remaining biscuit in a tin. His spine received the most punishment, from the metal bar behind his seat - ironically, a safety measure to stop people falling out of the Tuk Tuk!

At some road works, the vehicle was tossed around like a rowboat on the high seas, and the hapless traveller sustained a crack on the bonce, a twisted neck, and injuries to his arms, legs, and both ankles. He also cut a finger as he tried desperately to cling on to the metal frame of its canopy. To cap it all, his backside was aching as if he had ridden a camel for forty days.

On arriving home, he told his wife:

"I'll walk home next time."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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