Rumors are flying that, due to a number of mysterious technical difficulties, the Trump administration has lost the computer file containing the engineering design plans for President Trump’s proposed border wall. Many predict that if the missing file is not recovered, Trump’s border wall plans will fall by the wayside since without an architecturally-sound rendering Democrats may succeed in challenging the project's logistical feasibility.
Vice President Michael Pence stood serenely by, hands clasped, while a feverish President Trump scoured his personal laptop for the border wall plans.
“Have faith, Mr. President,” Pence told Trump. “It’s there.”
“I know I saved that file,’ said Trump, his distress evident. “I swear to God I saved that file.”
Pence clapped him reassuringly on the shoulder. "I know you did, too. But please, Mr. President, don't swear. Pray.”
Sources say that over the course of this most recent Trump mishap, Pence has served as a calming and confident presence, repeatedly reminding the president that regardless of how things play out, everything will be okay.
“Everything happens for a reason," he instructed Trump. “Our job right now isn’t to find that file; it’s to pray. Prayer changes everything.”
Pence's steadfast demeanor clearly had an impact on President Trump, who instantly dropped to his knees.
“Heavenly Father,” Trump began tentatively, his eyes tearing up. "Please..."
Vice President Pence, too, dropped to his knees and took the president’s hands in his own. “Yes, yes, that's exactly right," he said. "Let's pray together. Go on, Mr. President."
Trump nodded slightly and continued. “Dear Lord,” he murmured, "please, make America great again. And help us find that file.” He cleared his throat self-consciously and added, "And if it's not too much trouble, could you also bring me a pony?"