Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 3 January 2019

image for President Trump Winning People Over
It's decisive posts like this which have drawn the public to Trump

After almost three years in the job, US President Donald Trump has been the subject of a public evaluation exercise, and has fared much better than many people expected he might have done.

A questionaire was completed by 14,500 members of the American public from both sides of the political spectrum, and results show that, far from having portrayed himself as some bumbling, fumbling, ranting, moronic asshole, Trump is actually winning the people over, and converting them to his uncompromising way of thinking.

In Kansas, Roy said:

"When Trump came to power, I couldn't believe it! But then I thought about it, and fair's fair, he won the election, let's give him our support. Now, of course, I appreciate him for what he is: an enormous bag of wind, high on his own fumes, just waiting to burst a blood vessel, hopefully somewhere very close to his brain."

In Green Bay, Deniece told us:

"Trump's won me over. I now totally believe that he's a pig, a buffalo, and a billy goat. And that's just the farmyard. Wait until I start on bodily waste!"

Ken in New Orleans said:

"You've got to look at it objectively. Trump's an object. He's a power-mad, ignoramus of the highest caliber. You heard it from me!"

A White House spokesman, commenting on the results, said:

"They're not too bad. They could've been much worse."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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