Nashville Man Receives Bad News Over Telephone Line

Written by Chrissy Benson

Wednesday, 19 December 2018

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Luke is counting on his river of teardrops to bring his true love back to him. "I may be a little codependent," he allowed.

Last evening, as the shadows were growing longer and the sun was on the verge of giving up hope completely, singer-songwriter Luke Crosby of Nashville, Tennessee, received some extremely bad news over the telephone line: he learned that his baby had gone away.

“It’s got me feelin’ real, real blue,” he said, shaking his head and wiping at his red-rimmed eyes. “Lonesome, too.”

Sadly, Luke reports, this instance of abandonment by his long-time love, Patti Markham, isn't the first time his woman has up and left him.

“It’s happened a time or two before,” he admitted. “She's always liked to run around on me, and sometimes I get weary of chasing her. And every time she goes, she takes a little piece of heart." He sighed resignedly. "Truth be told, I don't know that there's anything much beating in my chest these days.”

Despite the unfortunate recent turn of events, Luke refuses to give up hope on the relationship entirely. “If I cry long enough and wet enough,” he predicted, "Patti'll see how deep my love runs, and my river of teardrops will bring her floating back to me.”

While relentlessly optimistic about his and Patti's future together, Luke has pledged to continue to work on himself once he wins his woman back. “I've been told I may be a little codependent,” he said. "That might be worth taking a look at."

"In the meantime, though," he said, "I've got some country music songs to write."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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