Slowly, Over Time, Nashville Man Becomes Slightly Less Immature

Written by Chrissy Benson

Monday, 15 October 2018

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Trent attributes his marked, if undetectable to others, improvement in overall maturity to dabbling in Buddhist meditation.

Slowly, over time, with a great deal of (well, some) personal work, Trent O’Hare of Nashville, Tennessee, reports that he’s become slightly less immature.

“It’s pretty remarkable, if I don’t say so myself," said Trent. "Which I do. A lot. I think it's important to give myself credit."

Trent attributes a big portion of his perceived internal growth to dabbling in Buddhist meditation. “I don’t do it on a daily basis, or really much at all," he explained, ""but I like to say that I have an ongoing mindfulness practice. I check in at any given moment and say, yeah, right, this is it, man. Right on!”

“Pot helps with that,” he added.

Trent's says that his favorite mindfulness practice is what’s known as the "body scan," which involves mentally scanning the entire body and noting any particular sensations.

“it’s amazing what you find out about your own body, this vessel that harbors your spirit,” he said. “I had a boner once and didn’t even realize it!”

And, although Trent's spiritual journey has been intermittently inconvenient and often totally static, he claims that it’s well worth the half-hearted effort he invests, to witness his own spiritual progress.

“I’m evolving every day,” he said. “In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m starting to grow a tail.” At that, he burst out laughing. “Kidding, kidding. But seriously, what’s life all about if we can’t laugh at ourselves?”

While Trent's family and friends, including his girlfriend, agree that they haven’t noticed any particular improvement in his overall maturity levels over recent decades, Trent doesn’t allow that to discourage him in his continuing, if inconsistent, quest for enlightenment.

“There are always going to be haters,” he said, with a resigned shrug. “What are you gonna do?”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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