Dr. Emil Skoda: “Senator Mitch McConnell Believes Every Group That Aren't White Males Are a Mob”

Funny story written by The Loony Liberal

Sunday, 7 October 2018

NEW YORK, NY – Dr. Emil Skoda, a psychiatrist who works with the New York Police Department, claimed that Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY) suffers from delusion disorder.

“In a nutshell, Senator McConnell believes that every congregation of people that isn't made up entirely of Caucasian males is an angry mob,” Skoda explained.

Skoda continued: “I had a session with Senator McConnell during the Kavanaugh hearings. I asked him about a variety of groups and historical events, and his responses were fascinating.

“I asked him about the women protesting Judge Kavanaugh. Senator McConnell replied, 'They're an angry mob of liberal harpies that want to use the Bill of Rights as toilet paper.'

“When I showed him a picture of the White Supremacists holding their fatal rally in Charlottesville, Senator McConnell said 'They're fine, upstanding citizens, exercising their first amendment rights to scare the crap out of liberals.'

“I played a clip of Reverend Martin Luther King's 'We have a dream...' speech. Senator McConnell angrily replied, 'They're an angry mob, tearing apart the pillars of society brick-by-brick and using those bricks to murder innocent citizens.”

“I played a clip of the Morgantown Sport Riot in 2014. Senator McConnell smiled and explained, 'That's just precocious youths sowing their wild oats.'

“I played a clip of President Obama's inauguration. Senator McConnell began to sob uncontrollably and wailed, 'That's an angry mob doing catastrophic damage to the United States of America!'

“Finally, I played a clip of Adolf Hitler's speech from November 8, 1940. Senator McConnell smiled from ear to ear and bragged, 'That's a group of fine individuals, paving the way for peace and stability.'”

Skoda concluded, “Though I run the risk of losing my license by making this public, I feel that the public needs to know. Senator McConnell's delusion disorder prevents him from comprehending reality, blindly and dangerously vilifying innocuous or inspiring events and providing cover for destructive behavior.”

Senator McConnell responded to Skoda's claims by saing, “Emil Skoda is an evil alien from the planet Munif, and he will not rest until he's devoured every nun on Earth!”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more