Written by joseph k winter

Thursday, 6 September 2018

image for New York Times runs interview with anonymous op-ed author wearing mask in dark underground cellar
"Anonymous" wore this outfit into the basement for the interview

Hard on the heels of Bob Woodward’s book Fear in the White House, the nation has once again been startled by insider views attacking the Trump administration.

Echoing Woodward’s charges of incompetence, an anonymous op-ed appeared yesterday in The New York Times from a “senior official in the Trump administration.”

These two events, reminding of disclosures on Trump two years ago just prior to the presidential election, have occurred back to back.

The anonymous op-ed focuses on “two-track” incompetence:

Track 1: He is said to rant, fidget, change his mind, do no homework, and forget what he’s about so often that aides must continually rescue The White House from his disorder.

Track 2: He shows disregard for tried and true American policies, as with intrepid enmity toward Putin and Kim Jong Un.

NYT (interviewer): Well, sir, thank you for coming forward again, here (for security) in the basement at The New York Times office building. Please forgive the sound of water dripping and the darkness as we interview?

ANON: Not at all. I’m used to being sneaky in The White House, and conditions here with the darkness and water dripping, and, I might add, the discomfort of wearing this mask—well, what are patriots for?

NYT: So you still say Mr. Trump is basically a raving nut-case who can’t do the job, additional to his (mostly) odious political positions?

ANON: Yes. Well, not that he hasn’t had some instincts to do the right thing here and there.

NYT: As with?

ANON: Well, his tax reform for the wealthy and commitment to a strong military. His denial of a raise for federal workers. Yes, he does show some good points.

NYT: What do you say to those who say you sound more like a Democratic Partisan than a loyal assistant to the President?

ANON: Well, if you’re referring to my commentary on Mr. Trump’s cozying up to Mr. Putin, plus being somewhat foot-dragging on the Skripal accusations, those are not only Democratic style talking points.

NYT: They’re not?

ANON: Of course not. Any decent analysis of our time indicates the Russian influence has given us a president who needs to be controlled by his staff.

NYT: Do you mind if I ask how you possibly could have been hired into your position, with these notions you’re expressing here?

ANON: Well, through masking, you know, in one way or another.

NYT: You mean by lying?

ANON: Well, we don't use the word "lying" in Washington. We use the word "impressions."

NYT: And the word lodestar, which you used in the op-ed? A favorite word, according to researchers, of Mr. Pence?

ANON: Lodestar is an honorable word now coming into prominence and soon to replace the familiar “awesome.”

NYT: But you're not--

ANON: If you’re suggesting I’m Mr. Pence, well, I would say you've got the wrong party.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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