Details emerge of secret negotiations between White House Lawyers and Robert Mueller’s FBI team

Funny story written by El Capitaz

Monday, 3 September 2018

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The POTUS demonstrates the karate chop he plans to use on Comey

In the wake of recent developments, our secret sources are starting to leak details of the high-stakes negotiations going on between President Trump’s team and the small army of FBI investigators lead by Special Investigator Robert Mueller.

Both sides started out far apart. Mueller’s team began by insisting the President waive all rights and allow himself to be detained and interrogated as an enemy combatant with enhanced techniques including sensory overload, sensory deprivation, stress posturing, and of course, waterboarding.

Trump’s Team had other ideas; they proposed that WWE mogul Vince McMahan orchestrate the meeting, which was to be a tag-team cage-match between Mueller and Comey, to be billed as “Club Fed” vs “President Trump and the Patriot Posse” consisting of The Rock, Hulk Hogan and The Undertaker, with Rhonda Rousey to be the Commander and Chief’s personal bodyguard, Ivanka Trump serving as referee, and Rudy Giuliani announcing. Trump was said to be offering the Clinton’s 10% of the pay per view.

Much progress has been made since negotiations started; Mueller is now said to be offering the POTUS partial immunity, if he will testify against himself and his family and associates. Trump has sweetened his deal to a 50/50 split of the PPV— But both sides are playing hardball and there are said to be more than a few difficult barriers to an amicable resolution.

Our sources report that, now that Mueller has defied the White House, by ignoring the deadline set for him to conclude his witch hunt, the fireworks are set to begin.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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