Written by Danyal

Sunday, 2 September 2018

image for Worker Complains Too Much Traffic Due to Low Unemployment Rate, Thanks Obama
How dare he...

Luke, a 27-year-old electrical engineer, faces the same obstacles as many working-class Americans today, too much traffic. In an interview, he said, “I can’t handle it”, as tears formed in his eyes. It takes him an hour to get home, twice as long as it should.

Studies have shown that traffic has increased by a factor of 3 times in just the last decade, since Obama took office. We wondered why that was.

Luke provided the answer, “The unemployment rate has dropped below 3.9% all due to Obama’s policies in helping people get jobs. More people working, more traffic.”

Luke believes that people having jobs isn’t always a good thing. Consider the time he wastes in traffic when he could be a productive member of society. He could be watching The X-Files on Netflix or How I Met Your Mother on Hulu. All these actions would help support local, online, US businesses. Instead, he is stuck in traffic.

What can we do about this epidemic of increased productivity in this country? This journalist believes we need more of the "millennial attitude". We as Americans, should go into the public and start complaining. We should tell people that following your dreams is a big waste of time. Society won’t value your skills anyway. It will just call you lazy. And tell you that you wasted $120,000 on college cause you wanted to “learn” and follow your “heart”. Eventually, people will stop looking for jobs and more people will stop working. In the end, leading to less traffic and more time for true Americans, like Luke, to binge watch shows online.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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