Written by Red.S.Crotum

Sunday, 2 September 2018

image for Trump nearly adopts Nellie The Elephant as his mid-term election campaign theme song
I don't like not using double negatives I don't believe you do neither

Donald Trump initially announced today he had selected the 1950's children's song Nellie The Elephant as his theme song for the forthcoming mid-term election.

Trump explained this morning in Washington DC. "I know this song very, very well from my childhood. And Melanoma is a big supporter of children's right, so we're gonna focus the mid-terms on stuff about kids. I think folks can relate to this song and it'll take their minds off minor distractions like restricting free trade, Russian interference in the presidential elections and mistreatment of illegal migrant kids. You know I think they'll like this song very, very much."

A reporter from the New York Times questioned the President on the suitability of the song which contains the lyrics 'Nellie the elephant packed her trunk, And said goodbye to the circus,
Off she went with a trumpety trump,
Trump trump trump.'

Trump responded "Well, that's just plain, obvious fake news, just what we've come to expect from the New York Times."

Trump's Press Secretary Faken Ewssucks stepped in at that point and the President quickly left the room. Ewssucks explained "The President misread the press release. He meant to say 'We will not be using Nellie The Elephant as our theme tune, that's what Melanoma wanted.'.In fact Mr Trump will be using 'If I Ruled The World'. Thank you very much."

At that point a number of reporters attempted to ask questions about the President's difficulties dealing with double negatives but were prevented from pursuing the topic when Ewssucks abruptly ended the press conference and turned the lights off.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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