Written by Matt Birkenhauer

Wednesday, 27 June 2018

image for First Amendment Rewrite

Now that a thoroughly balanced and non-partisan Supreme Court has upheld Donald Trump’s Muslim Ban, I think it’s time that we amended the First Amendment to the Constitution. Hell, let’s just amend both parts of it, while we’re at it.

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion (unless it’s Christianity), or prohibiting the free exercise thereof (unless it’s Islam or any other foreign religion); or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press (unless it’s press—i.e., “Fake News”—critical of the Executive branch); or the right of the people (i.e., except for people who did not vote for Donald Trump) peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government (i.e., Donald Trump) for a redress of grievances.”

An abbreviated version of this amended Amendment will be forwarded to the President, in the hopes that he will take the time to read it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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