WHITEWASHINGTON, DC — The secret design for the Baroque Insane Obummer Unpresidential Libary was approved by the Windy City, officials saying the plans passed the “smell test.”
However, the library faces funding challenges. “Nobody wants to pay for the damned thing,” admitted Mayor Rahm Emanuel, who serviced Obummer as the former president's White House Chief of Staff from 2009-2010, when Obummer was unable to find better help.
The museum component of the grandiose complex is also facing challenges in locating worthwhile exhibits. “Once we've displayed the telephone and pen he used to ram unwanted executive orders down the American people's throats, there's not a lot left worth displaying,” Curator Ross Stanton Jordan said. “I mean, Obummer didn't do anything substantial during his eight years in the White House.”
Reportedly, the former president is now seeking a new curator. Insiders (his wife Michelle and her canine companion Bo) say the former president has his eye on Emanuel, who serviced him well during his White House role. “Baroque has always found him attractive,” the former first lady, who asked to remain anonymous, gushed.
“If nothing else,” Jordan suggested, “we could stuff and mount Bo.”