Written by Matt Birkenhauer

Friday, 11 May 2018

image for President Bonespur Says, of John McCain, “I prefer cancer patients who don’t die.”

RATHOLE, D. C.—Echoing remarks he made about John McCain during his 2016 campaign, President Bonespur today joined in, after Kelly Sadler’s quip about John McCain “dying anyway,” with his own clever turn: “I prefer cancer patients who don’t die.”

Several advisors in the room had a full belly laugh at that one, with Stephen Miller slapping his gut with a loud and prolonged guffaw, although a few in the room, one unnamed source reports, blanched at the statement.

But the room returned to civil geniality soon after, as everyone in the room realized that President Bonespur didn’t mean the remark literally, but was just an asshole.

Later today President Bonepsur’s wife, Melody, is expected to address MAB (Mothers Against Bullying) on the issue of cyberbullying.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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