In a White House press briefing this morning, press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders announced that President Trump has re-assigned Rudy Giuliani to a franchise outlet for---A Place for Mom. Reporters gasped and looked at each other in amazement.
A reporter from the Associated Press called out: "Where is this facility!?"
Sanders replied: "Oh...a very nice resort area just outside of Moscow."
Reporter: "In Russia???
Sanders: "Hmmm...well yes....it's called Siberia. And Rudy will be accompanied by the White House physician, Ronnie Jackson and another of the medical staff, Nurse Ratchet."
A NYT journalist shouted: "What are they going to do there?"
Sanders: "Just a minor procedure...hmmm...I think it's called a frontal labotomy...or something like that." She paused..."And when he returns the president has promised that Rudy will get a major cabinet position, hmmmm...or possibly replace John Kelly as White House chief of staff who will travel to the same facility in Russia. We do have a quantity discount." She appeared quite pleased according to those in attendance.
Huckabee folded her papers and left the podium hurriedly as the astonished journalist, a few with tears in their eyes, slowly left the room.
In related news, an anonymous source has told the Wall Street Journal that the "A Place for Mom" facility in Russia has told the news outlet that they have received a call from a female in the US calling herself Melanoma Frump who requested that Giuliani be assigned to a room that can accommodate another guest plus a companion. The new guest/patient who she is calling, Dennis Trunk will be staying permanently with his companion/bodyguard, a Native American named...Chief. No further details were given according to the report.