Written by Chrissy Benson

Tuesday, 27 March 2018

image for Blood Money? Joe Rogan Begins Selling His Blood to Nutrition Supplement Company GNC
For those squeamish about straight blood, Rogan recommends the "blood smoothie," sweetened with strawberries.

Stand-up comedian and podcast host Joe Rogan recently began selling his own blood – not because he's fallen on hard times, but as part of a new and highly profitable partnership with health supplement company GNC.

The joint venture with GNC seemed like a natural alliance, stated Rogan. A vocal proponent of bro-science and touter of such earthy remedies such as deer and moose blood, Rogan felt that the nectar of a prime physical human specimen – such as himself – would be just the thing for males aiming to boost testosterone, jump-start sex drive, and gross out their friends. GNC agreed.

β€œIt's the most potent Joe Rogan experience there is," promised Rogan.

Rogan's blood can be purchased in liquid or capsule form. There's also a cannabis-infused version, available only in Colorado. For those with dietary restrictions, Rogan cautioned, "It's definitely not vegan. But it is entirely gluten-free."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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