Trump Touts His Buddhism-Informed Platform Emphasizing Greed, Hatred and Delusion

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Wednesday, 4 April 2018

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Trump credits the Buddhist tradition, with its emphasis on greed, hatred and delusion, with his presidential platform.

In a recent address to North Korean Buddhists, President Trump lauded the Eastern religion which, he says, has greatly informed his presidential platform through its emphasis on the powerful effects of greed, hatred and delusion.

As Trump noted, Buddhism teaches that greed, hatred and delusion are the byproduct of ignorance. They are referred to as the “three poisons,” powerful enough to affect humans on both personal and global levels.

“Our administration is harnessing that power,” proclaimed Trump. “Nothing is off the table.”

In the Buddhist tradition, delusion is defined as dullness, bewilderment and misperception. Greed refers to selfishness, misplaced desire, attachment and grasping for happiness and satisfaction outside of oneself. And hatred is anger, aversion and repulsion toward unpleasant people, circumstances and even one's own uncomfortable feelings.

“We've cornered the market on all three, I'd say,” boasted Trump.

South Korea's most famous Buddhist monk, Haemin Sunim, pointed out that the Dharma teaches that the three poisons are highly unwholesome and must be understood and transformed.

Trump heartily agreed. “It may be counter-intuitive, but our task is to embrace greed, hatred and delusion, so as to be personally empowered to transform them into imperial and commercial success. We're on our way, my friends.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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