God Takes Over US Congress

Written by mikewadestr

Friday, 2 March 2018


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I'm having a really bad hair day.

God the almighty made an appearance at the US Senate and immediately smited the two senators from Florida claiming it was simply because they were from the state of Florida.

God told the assembly that “they better get their shit together and work in unison on some bipartisan legislature” or he will smite all of them forcing a slew of special elections which will certainly not bode well for either party as he will put together a God party which will be headed by Sean Penn and Madonna.

Just for shits and giggles God went ahead and smited Nancy Pelosi because she owned a couple of those annoying little yappy dogs as well as Paul Ryan who just simply annoys him and Chuck Schumer for picking his nose too much.

“This is what it is going to be” started the Almighty. “You will work in unison to come up with viable solutions to current problems plaguing the US and will do it bipartisanly or else I will smite you. Believe me I like smiting people. I’ve been doing it for centuries”.

“If Donald Trump doesn’t like the legislation I will send him to hell where he will spend all eternity wearing a pair of women’s panties over his head while turning a whole pig over burning embers".

“Oh and by the way, Maxine Watters please get rid of that James Brown wig”.

“I’ll be overseeing the legislation as it happens to make sure everything goes as planned”.

As of press time it was learned that God smited Maxine Watters for refusing to take off her James Brown wig.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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