King Tweet and his courtiers to enter collective therapy in aircraft carrier commanded by General Mattis

Written by joseph k winter

Sunday, 5 February 2017

image for King Tweet and his courtiers to enter collective therapy in aircraft carrier commanded by General Mattis

Stressed after two weeks of hectic executive ordering, Mr. Trump and his entourage will take a break aboard the USS Blue Note, with Mad Dog assuming the helm.

General Mattis is reported as having opted out of the therapy, which will take place below decks deep under the hanger bay, but has always had a hankering to commandeer a carrier.

A team of psychologists will be flown to the Big Deck every day to examine and purge Mr. Trump and key staff members of various ills acquired in the past two weeks.

Psychological purging will be accompanied by physical elimination as key to moving ahead after Trump has incited US and international chaos with his first moves.

"Could be the cheeseburgers, yes," stated one prominent psychoanalyst requesting anonymity. "Or the lasagna, we're not sure."

Mr. Trump's expanding waist has been noticed as a by-product of his work routine, having enlarged from size 42 to 48 in just a few days.

The psychological side involves the stress of decision-making in a conflicted environment with several talking heads making policy in contradiction to other talking heads.

White House spokesperson Mr. Sean Spicer will visit the carrier evenings, to relay developments from the quarterdeck to MSM reporters.

He has most recently said there is nothing to the rumor Mr. Trump is interested in becoming "American Royalty, in the role of King, and from there to Global Commander-in-Chief."

Mr. Bannon is reported in a frenzy of fingernail chewing over conflicts over Ukraine, Yemen, and Iran in the past few days.

General Flynn has been doing extra pushups in the morning, but is feeling stressed over a recent dream in which Edward Snowden appeared to be strapping him into an electric chair, while smiling into his face.

UN Envoy Nikki Haley is troubled that she had "blind-sided" Mr. Trump on Ukraine and Russia in contrast to the way the President spoke warmly to Mr. Putin on possibly easing sanctions.

She reports that being new she is somewhat unsure of her speaking style despite a tutorial with Samantha Power. "She told me exactly what to say," Ms. Haley added.

She says she will enjoy relief in the carrier's exercise rooms, if the therapy itself is not viable to her understanding of Mr. Trump's Russia policy, whatever that is.

Senators McCain and Graham have promised to visit the carrier during daytime therapy sessions to guide Mr. Trump and his team on "an educational tour of realities in US policy and economics regarding foreign belligerents."

All in all, this trip to the sea for therapeutic reasons is seen in Washington with a sigh of relief that for a few days there might be a let up in the hectic atmosphere of executive orders and blazing tweets since Mr. Trump took office.

For amusement, Mr. Trump and his staff will join the Air Wing Ward Room for movies in the evening, starting with Dr. Strangelove and Clockwork Orange.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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