You're Deported!

Funny story written by Brett Taylor

Wednesday, 1 February 2017

New US president Donald J. Trump certainly isn't wasting any time getting down to business. In addition to issuing a record number of executive orders, the new commander in chief has issued a record number of tweets--roughly three thousand a day. But it doesn't stop there.

The president first became popular with the working class for his Reality TV show "The Apprentice," in which various contestants vied for the coveted position of working for Trump. Trump's catch phrase "You're Fired!" was bellowed at unlucky losers and quickly became a national catch phrase.

Now the president presents a new variation on this concept, and it's sure to be a hit with Trump's fan base. In the new NBC series "The Immigrant," contestants from seven Muslim countries compete for the honor of staying in the United States. A short version of the premiere episode was recently shown to critics and potential sponsors. In this episode, a Syrian refugee gets on his hands and knees and begs the president for an extended stay in the United States. "Please Mr. Trump," he says. "It is true that I and my family are Muslims. But we are peaceful people dedicated to moral values, hard work, and understanding people of all faiths and nations. If you send us back to Syria, it will be a sure death sentence. I beg you to find the understanding that I know is in your heart and do not sentence my two beautiful children to a senseless and cruel death."

At this point, Trump sneers for a moment before opening his sizable mouth and uttering his instantly memorable new catch phrase: "You're deported!" as the Syrian sobs with grief and his wife wails. They are then dragged away by two American soldiers as Trump continues to sneer with an expression of boredom and contempt.

According to a critic who has sat through several episodes, "The entire series is like this. I've watched thirteen episodes so far and I have yet to see anyone allowed to stay in this country."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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