BOSTON – (Satire News) – It is no secret that just about every Catholic in America hates the asshole who resided in the White House for 4 very, very, very long years! The golf-addicted, pussy-grabbing loser was called everything from the Orange Bl…
As a last desperate attempt to thwart a Trump presidency, Democrat's have enlisted the help of New Mexico's Republican Governor Susanna Martinez. Vice President Joe Biden was in Santa Fe over the holidays and took time specifically to talk to Gov...
A TS-Investigation - Keeping The Candidates Honest Q. Does Donald Trump Have Two heads? A. Inconclusive There have been reports of a second head emerging from Donald Trump during a press briefing, as well as a leaked TSA X-Ray image that shows...
Senator Ted Cruz has mockingly been called The Executor, The Inquisitor, as well as The Prosecutor, but Pope Francis revealed that one of Cruz's true titles may be Exorcist - or maybe The Exorcisor in keeping with the spirit of his past nicknames.
In a victory for religious libertarians, Oklahoma has passed the Family Religion And Re-Education Act, designed to keep exorcism, the casting out of demons, legal. Oklahoma State Rep. Sally Kern sponsored the legislation that protects family and...
Though neither are even close to wrapping up their party's nomination, Hillary Clinton and Ted Cruz will appear together in an unprecedented event: Hillary will make her case for another Clinton Presidency while Ted Cruz will attempt to exorcise the...
The Catholic Church is to be floated on the Stock Market. Cardinal Karl Profiteri of the Holy See's Banca Ambrosiana has announced that the Church is going to be privatised. At a special conclave of bishops the vote was taken last April during th...
Fr. Gabriel Amorth, The Head of International Association of Exorcists which is a Vatican sanctioned organization has recently made the claim that he has rid the world of 160,000 demons and sent them back to Hell. Fr. Amorth was one of the exorcists...
The Gorbals, Glasgow - Demoted in the ranks for gross misconduct the former Primate of Scotland has been ordered into exile from his Scottish stamping ground for processing and re-assimilation at a Vatican exorcism. Ex-Cardinal Keith O'Brien will...
The ghost of Margaret Thatcher has again been reported seen at 10, Downing Street, this time by Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg. A terrified Mr Clegg, who managed to escape into the street through a ground floor office window after being confronted...
Actual story from the Washington Post: WARSAW, Poland, Feb. 11 (UPI) -- Roman Catholic regions of Europe are seeing a resurgence of exorcism, the rite of expelling evil spirits from tortured souls. Informal efforts to train more exorcists began under Pope John Paul II when the Vatican formally revised and upheld the rite for the first time in nearly 400 years, The Washington Post reported Mo...
Governor Bobby Jindal, architect of the Louisiana education voucher system that replaced public education, will explain to Republican conventioneers today how state funded Bible schools teaching children that the Loch Ness monster and dragons are rea...
It has just been reported that Chris Hansen, the man behind the news show Hansen Files seen Friday evenings on Dateline NBC is, most likely, possessed by the devil, who priests say entered his body during the taping of an upcoming expose on exorcisms...
Rome - Unhexing the stricken pleasure cruiser requires meticulous Bell, Book & Candle stuff the Pope has warned ahead of new attempts to refloat the boat. Its Friday the 13th sinking on the Russian Orthodox calendar's New Year's Eve means devi...
The Daily Mail has long held the belief that Facebook is evil and the obvious cause of many atrocities. Now with half the UK population having signed up to Facebook, the newspaper has decided that banning it is probably not feasible. Instead, the...
Bristol - (Last Frights): Thursday's Venus/Pluto conjunction in Capricorn will see Joanna Yeates' body receive extreme unction to avert bad karma in the forthcoming afterlife. Unguents, incense and votive candles will form part of a ritual ablutio...
A local Satanist Cult has booked the Oklahoma Civic Center for October 21st, the closest date to Halloween they could get, to perform what they call a reverse exorcism. The group, which calls itself "Satan and the Majestic Mayhems" claims that it is...
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