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Funny satire stories about Ted Cruz

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Funny story: Pay To Play Into College And The White House

Pay To Play Into College And The White House

Stop picking on Hollywood mothers with big smiles for trying to buy their kid into elite colleges. Indeed, it's painful enough for the mother to admit their kid is hopelessly slow. Why didn't they hire tutors to bridge the gap during high school?...

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Funny story: Fearing Political Tsunami in November, Republicans Adopt New Approaches

Fearing Political Tsunami in November, Republicans Adopt New Approaches

THE WIRED STREET URINAL REPORTER KR Schwartz DATELINE: September 27th 2018 Washington, D.C. Fearing Political Tsunami in November, Republicans Adopt New Approaches Feeling the mounting political pressure from constituents over the Senate Judi...

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Funny story: Democrat's Last Hope: Trump Exorcism

Democrat's Last Hope: Trump Exorcism

As a last desperate attempt to thwart a Trump presidency, Democrat's have enlisted the help of New Mexico's Republican Governor Susanna Martinez. Vice President Joe Biden was in Santa Fe over the holidays and took time specifically to talk to Gov...

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Funny story: Meeting Donny J.

Meeting Donny J.

Michael Jackson's boyhood home. Gary, Indiana. Aside from the King of Pop, this metropolis didn't offer much. It was a pit. All that was left of this once booming steel town was boarded-up buildings, a few liquor stores that resembled jails with all of the metal bars protecting the premises, a minor league baseball team with a brand new baseball park (the "Railcats") and various river boat cas...

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Funny story: Trump Sues NASA, Rants about Zodiac Sign Change

Trump Sues NASA, Rants about Zodiac Sign Change

New York, NY - After conferring with Ivanka Trump and Marla Maples, Donald J. Trump had decided to sue NASA over its recent decision to change the Zodiac signs for 80% of the world's population. Trump's sign was changed from Gemini to Taurus. A Gem...

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Funny story: Bill and Melania Pay Lip Service to Their Secret Meeting

Bill and Melania Pay Lip Service to Their Secret Meeting

Washington, D.C.: Bill Clinton met secretly with Melania Trump at the Watergate Hotel to work on his speech for the Democratic National Convention. While former President Clinton has given many political speeches throughout his storied career, he...

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Funny story: Republican Convention: Ready, Set - Hold It

Republican Convention: Ready, Set - Hold It

Marla Maples will open the proceeding singing:My Man. If there is a standing ovation, she will encore using the Little Fish routine she performed in the Dancing With The Stars contest, even though the routine followed with her elimination. It m...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz suspends presidential campaign, then names his entire cabinet selection anyway.

Ted Cruz suspends presidential campaign, then names his entire cabinet selection anyway.

Following his decisive loss to Republican frontrunner Donald Trump, Senator Ted Cruz has officially announced that he will be suspending his 2016 Presidential Campaign. Stating that "There is no longer a decisive path to victory," he made the announc...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz Revises Song, What a Wonderful World in His Latest Press Conference

Ted Cruz Revises Song, What a Wonderful World in His Latest Press Conference

Ted Cruz has changed his format for filibusters in the future. Rather than reading children's novels to Senators in an effort to tell them all that they are much less intelligent than he is, he will sing songs for fun and profit. The first song i...

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Funny story: Trump rumored to want Bill Clinton as Vice President

Trump rumored to want Bill Clinton as Vice President

As if this election year had not been wild enough, rumors have started flying that Donald Trump could pick Bill Clinton to be his running mate in November. The rumors started not long after Trump all but clinched the Republican nomination. Of...

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Funny story: Inquiring Trump Wants to Know

Inquiring Trump Wants to Know

DATELINE: THE GRASSY KNOLL IN DALLAS Just when was Lyin' Ted Cruz going to tell the American people that his father used to hang out with Lee Harvey Oswald? Oh, there is photographic evidence of their liaison. It has been clogging up archives for...

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Funny story: Senate on Suicide Watch as Cruz is set to Return

Senate on Suicide Watch as Cruz is set to Return

The rate of depression among Senators is expected to skyrocket following the news that Ted Cruz will return to the Senate after his failed presidential campaign. Authorities are very concerned that members of the Senate may take drastic measures...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz suspends presidential campaign, then names his entire cabinet selection anyway.

Ted Cruz suspends presidential campaign, then names his entire cabinet selection anyway.

Following his decisive loss to Republican frontrunner Donald Trump, Senator Ted Cruz has officially announced that he will be suspending his 2016 Presidential Campaign. Stating that "There is no longer a decisive path to victory," he made the announc...

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Funny story: Zombie Dentist Claims Ted Cruz's Bite Worse Than His Bark

Zombie Dentist Claims Ted Cruz's Bite Worse Than His Bark

BILLINGSGATE POST: Confused? Never heard of a Zombie dentist? Never mind. It makes no difference. Dr. Wichita Sleaze, one of the first dentists in Kansas to specialize in Zombie Maxillofacial Surgery, published an article in Dentistry Legends,...

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Funny story: Famous Couples Rival Ted Cruz and Carly

Famous Couples Rival Ted Cruz and Carly

In the world of entertainment politics, Ted Cruz continues to clear every room he enters. We have seen Ted Cruz lookalikes everywhere we turn nowadays, and the idea is not comforting. Recently, Jerry Springer brought forth a woman who looks like s...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz Attempts to Steal Donald Trump's Thunder by Selecting Failed CEO as His VP Candidate

Ted Cruz Attempts to Steal Donald Trump's Thunder by Selecting Failed CEO as His VP Candidate

Washington-After a miserable showing in this week's primary elections, the Cruz campaign decided that the best way to stop a failed businessman from becoming the Republican nominee was to sign-on a failed businesswoman as his pick for Vice President.

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Funny story: Is Free Pizza Making Candidates Fat?

Is Free Pizza Making Candidates Fat?

Apparently, Ohio Governor John Kasich, running for the Republican nomination of president, is just a fellow who can't say 'no' to a platter of food anywhere or anytime. During one sitting at a New York restaurant, the governor ate: two plates of...

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