After fifty years of police procedurals on television, it has been revealed that every single person in America has been murdered, except one.
Thanks to one off murders on a variety of shows from Hill Street Blues to NCIS to Chicago PD to Castle, millions have been slaughtered. Those that weren't caught up in this massive killing spree have been the victim of one of thousands of serial killers as documented in shows such as Criminal Minds, Stalker and Hannibal.
Even the serial killers themselves have been murdered by the infamous serial killer, Dexter.
Since everybody else is now slain, Dexter has announced he will be running for President. As the only nominee for any party, he is expected to get one hundred percent of the vote. Also, with the only casting vote in the country, Dexter is expected to be the next president of the United States of America.
In his speech announcing his presidential campaign, Dexter said:
"My first action will be to impose tighter gun laws in this country, making it illegal to own any kind of gun."
Strangely, the NRA - America's most vocal gun support group - have reminded conspicuously quiet on the announcement.
DCI Barnaby, the chief detective of a quiet English village, has said that he believes America just hasn't been trying.
"Once everybody in Midsomer has been murdered," he said, "we ship in new residents for the following season. And people still move here."
