Philadelphia Fraternal Order of Police Head Clarifies "Clinton Blew Us Off" Comment As Reason For Trump Endorsement

Funny story written by Don Grapper

Tuesday, 20 September 2016

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Philadelphia Police Union Head Denies Hillary Clinton Sucked Off Nation's Law Enforcement Officers

Philadelphia - One day after announcing that his union was endorsing Republican nominee Donald Trump for President of the United States, John McNesby, the President of the Philadelphia Fraternal Order of Police backtracked on his comment that Democratic Nominee Hillary Clinton "blew the police off," which led to the Trump endorsement.

"Obviously, had she literally done that, she'd have our full throated support," he told ABC's George Stephanopolus.

McNesby went on to explain that, by the term, "blow off," he meant that Hillary Clinton ignored the Police Union's invitation to speak at their convention or do any of the paperwork required to apply for their endorsement.

"I was not saying she sucked the cocks of the Philadelphia Police Department," he said. "Or the cocks of any police anywhere in the nation. And had she done so, in no way, shape, or form could our endorsement of Donald Trump be interpreted to mean we found her technique less than fully satisfying."

McNesby went on to explain that most members of his union would not accept a blow job from the former first lady.

"First, there's the old hag factor. Second, we don't appreciate her support for anti-Police groups like 'Black Lives Matter' and 'the Anti-Honkey Pigs Must Die Club of Chattanooga,' both of which have endorsed Hillary Clinton on their websites."

McNesby also said that had she sucked off the nation's law enforcement officers, then most of them would have pneumonia (Mrs. Clinton was recently diagnosed with 'walking pneumonia).

"Or at least their dicks would," he said. "And their balls."

McNesby emphasized that blow jobs play no role in any political endorsements by the Philadelphia Fraternal Order of Police.

"Our endorsement process is fully above board," he said.

In the 1980's the Philadelphia FOP was mired in scandal after it was discovered that bribery charges were dropped against the Chief of Police just minutes after he released a copious stream of piping hot semen down the throat of the lead attorney from the Federal Prosecutor's Office. Since that time, the union has routinely had to deny that blow jobs play any part in any of their activities.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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