Trump Gets His Wish for Mexican Border Wall

Friday, 9 September 2016

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Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto has announced his country will build a wall along the entire Mexican-American border after all. He said his government decided to build the wall to block Mr. Trump from trying to enter Mexico again.

The work begins immediately, starting with the area directly south of New York City. Mexico has applied to courts in all of the border states for restraining orders against Mr. Trump in case he tries to enter the country during the wall's construction.

President Nieto held a press conference following his meeting with the GOP Presidential nominee. Nieto issued a blanket order for all border guards to detain any individual with strange hair and orange skin.

When a reporter asked how it will affect anyone else who fits the description the president responded with a question of his own. "Does America have anyone else who looks like that? I certainly hope not, for the sake of its citizens." He added that any others who fit the description can apply to the "Welcome to Mexico" fly list.

According to a campaign spokesperson the GOP candidate is expediting recruitment for undocumented workers to insure he has plenty available for building projects before the wall is built. She added, "Mr. Trump plans to start new business ventures with the government funding he will create for Trump Enterprises after he is elected. That may take several days."

In his remarks Mr. Nieto's voice rose took on a terrified tone as he explained a sense of urgency in building the wall. He has "extreme concern" about Mr. Trump's habit of importing women from other countries to marry them and then divorce them. "I noticed during his visit that Mr. Trump ogled young ladies so much he forgot to talk about immigration."

Mexico prides itself on its cultural heritage honoring marriage. The country's divorce rate of 10% is among the lowest divorce rates in the world. Mr. Trump has a personal divorce rate of 66%.

Trump said in his response that Mr. Nieto is just jealous. "Have you seen his wife? Hoo boy, I won't be inviting her to Trump Palace." He added he planned to stay married to his current wife, Melania, until after the election.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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