Written by XRhonda Speaks

Friday, 6 May 2016

image for Trump Vows To Stop Mexican Birds From Migrating North
Donald Trump proposes to keep birds from migrating north from Mexico

After an incident where a Venezuelan hummingbird buzzed a U.S. aircraft carrier, Donald Trump expanded his proposal for a wall on the U.S./Mexico border to include a net to keep out migrating birds as well.

Trump appeared at a California rally that had as many protesters as attendees. An estimated 10,000 environmental and animal rights activists mixed outside with thousands of Trump supporters who were unable to get in to the 6,300 seat Shrine Auditorium.

The Don strode onto the stage to cheers and a few hecklers as the protesters who made it past security were removed. Comfortably presiding at the microphone he spoke to the yearning crowd.

"These Mexican birds are actually taking habitat from our native birds, and they're bringing diseases, and anyone with a hummingbird feeder knows how aggressive Mexican birds can be. People say it's cute to see them competing against each other, but they don't make the leap to themselves competing with illegal aliens for their livelihoods."

Trump continued with the bird analogy, "Some of the migrating birds are like rapists too, they don't actually rape the other birds, but it's like being forced to have your rapists baby because the birds lay their eggs in the nest of another bird couple's nest, and that unknowing couple raises the Mexican bird's chick as its own. When I'm president folks, were going to stop the anchor babies, and on top of our big beautiful wall we're going to have a net to stop Mexican birds too." The crowd's cheering was deafening inside the auditorium.

Animal rights and environmental groups ridiculed Trump's plan for a net across the border. Chuck Martin of the American Birdwatchers Society told our TS reporter by phone, "This plan will never happen because of the logistics first of all, but any attempt at interrupting the migrating habits of any bird population would be a disaster of the same proportions as the old buffalo slaughters."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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