Ted Cruz To Perform Exorcism On Hillary Clinton

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Tuesday, 16 February 2016

image for Ted Cruz To Perform Exorcism On Hillary Clinton
"I did not have financial relations..."

Though neither are even close to wrapping up their party's nomination, Hillary Clinton and Ted Cruz will appear together in an unprecedented event: Hillary will make her case for another Clinton Presidency while Ted Cruz will attempt to exorcise the demons he claims are within her.

"Family has taught me that you've got to stand up to, and call out demons when they appear," Cruz said through a press release announcing the debate.

Catholic and evangelical groups have criticized the move by Cruz to perform an exorcism during the televised debate.

When reached by phone, Tony Durnts of Worship Without Limits said, "It's dangerous and false for Ted Cruz to make average laypeople think that they can safely handle an exorcism. Most every time, real professionals are what you need. In a worst case scenario, well, let me just say: Do you want someone in your family to end up getting a back-alley exorcism?"

The Clinton Camp seems more amused than anything by Cruz's claims that Hill Dog is possessed. "I look forward to the debate," Hillary said, but when her statement was played backwards, she could be heard saying, "Ted Cruz has socks that smell."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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