BILLINGSGATE POST: "As part of ACME Corporation, the greatest military-industrial complex the world has ever known, I, Wile E Coyote, hereby announce my enthusiastic endorsement for Hillary Rodham Clinton."
"Although she was thoroughly schlonged by Bernie Sanders in the New Hampshire primary last night, ACME stands behind her because she vowed to buy 100,000 EXTRA-HEAVY DUTY, ALL-PURPOSE ANVILS from ACME upon being elected president."
Earlier in the day, the floundering Clinton had called North Korea president, Kim Jong-Un, to discuss nuking New Hampshire for slighting her in the state's primary election. Kim Jong, who was looking for a target anyway, replied:
"When papa was alive, he promised Dennis Rodman that he would do anything possible to keep the Clintons happy. I stand behind that promise, and would be delighted to nuke New Hampshire with our newly acquired ACME nuclear-tipped guided missile that could be launched from Pyongyang and reach Manchester, New Hampshire as easily as dropping an anvil off a cliff."
In a TOP SECRET message from the Road Runner to Hillary Clinton:
"Hill. Can't wait to see you and Wile E Coyote in your matching pantsuits. BEEP! BEEP!"
