BILLINGSGATE POST: Abu Bakr al Baghdadi, who claims to be a descendant of Mohammed Ali, and henchman of the Greater Than Allah Branch of ISIS, twittered to its USA affiliate, MSNBC, that it has captured the elusive adversary of Wile E. Coyote.
Rachel "Turtle Neck" Maddow, Notary Sojac and Major Domo for MSNBC, who incidentally claims to have a direct link to ISIS, Caitlyn Jenner and Hillary Clinton; in that order of importance, respectively, announced that she had received a twitter from Abu Bakr al Baghdadi, whom she affectionately refers to as, "small al," stating that they are holding an American cartoon hero who claims to be the epic adversary of Wile E. Coyoye, the Road Runner.
While stating that they snatched the Roadrunner in the minaret of a Syrian mosque while he was "Beep Beeping" the morning call to prayer to the faithful, ISIS was mum regarding where he was being held.
Skeptics, including Wile E. Coyote, who singularly has spent nearly ever waking moment of his life trying to capture the Road Runner, posted on his Facebook account that he will not believe this story unless the ACME Corporation verifies its authenticity. "Generally speaking," Coyote speculated, "if you can't trust ACME, who the f..k can you trust?"
Then, as the sun was falling, casting a shadow on his tall gin and tonic that he sipped passively through a plastic straw as he sat with his back against the wall at his favorite table in the Casbah Bar and Grill in Baghdad, Wile E. Coyote raised his glass and leveled an old coyote curse on ISIS:
"May the ACME anvil of my father's father fall on your favorite camel's head."
PS: GOOD LUCK!