BILLINGSGATE POST: Buried deep in fine print to rebuild the Nation’s infrastructure is a plan to replace old stationary fire hydrants with ones that revolve at 12 revolutions per minute using solar power to provide the energy. It has always been…
BILLINGSGATE POST: in a document released by the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, the long awaited results to an investigation that has studied over 143 reports of unidentified aerial phenomena since 2004 have been released. Although…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Like Meghan and Harry, Wile E Coyote, the distraught victim of a thousand blows to the head by gravity controlled ACME ANVILS, chose to air his grievances with the Goddess of Understanding, Oprah Winfrey. In a tearful display of…
BILLINGSGATE POST: ACME Anvil Ltd. announced the purchase of Manchester United from Malcom Glazer today in a hostile takeover that left Man U followers hopeful for better days. ACME, an offshore conglomerate located on Grand Cayman Island, also owns...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Managing Director of the Premier League, Richard Masters, announced today that Harry Maguire’s balls were tested by ACME Ball Evaluators, a subsidiary of the ACME Corporation. The results, Masters revealed, showed evidence of pre...
BILLINGSGATE POST: As a select squadron of buzzards flew over the remains of the 63 camels that met their maker in the onslaught of Sidewinder missiles that took out the best and brightest of Iran’s vaunted distribution network, an eerie calm came ov...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Somewhere Southwest of Nowhere, deep in the Sonoran Desert, a solitary Saguaro cacti is weeping with joy, its outstretched arms lifted in exhaltation in celebration of Good (Trump) over Evil (Mueller). Supplicant over the past...
BILLINGSGATE POST: The quietness of the Sonoran Desert was broken by the muffled silence of mice nibbling on cream cheese. Even though their teeth had been capped with rubber tips, sounds of rodent mastication bounced off canyon walls like thunder. Although the Armadillos indigenous to this hostile environment had been unarmed by dissident anti-arm vigilantes, there was no peace in the desert.
BILLINGSGATE POST: Like a cheap bordello tart attempting to seduce a penniless sailor, Wile E Mueller was trying to reconcile his record of never defeating the Trump Runner in their battle for supremacy. In the Looking Glass war that cast these unli...
BILLINGSGATE POST: The hostile environment of the Sonoran Desert does not cease, even after the sun goes down. Legends of lost gold mines and the crusted white skeletons of dead miners who stood sentinel over their staked claims while grey bearded v...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Somewhere in the Sonoran Desert, just South of East Jesus, a campfire twickers in the early dusk. And the languid cowboy, Slim Everdingle, limply strums a melancholy tune on his Gibson guitar celebrating the turn of events that be...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Drifting under the cover of shadows that share the darkness enveloping the Beltway in Washington, the organic throb of millions of penis pumps might someday be utilized to drain the murky swamp that smothers everyday political re...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Abu Bakr al Baghdadi, who claims to be a descendant of Mohammed Ali, and henchman of the Greater Than Allah Branch of ISIS, twittered to its USA affiliate, MSNBC, that it has captured the elusive adversary of Wile E. Coyote. Ra...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Like Homer's Sirens, who lured Odysseus with their beautiful voices of doom as he sailed off the rocks of Scylla, the "BEEP! BEEP!" emanating from the Road Runner is now piercing the morning solitude from minarets in Ramadi, luring...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Reminiscent of General George Patton's counterattack in 1944 which liberated Germany from the Nazi regime, newly appointed Field Marshall Wile E. Coyote stood on the hood of his Hummer and watched as his Big Red ACME Amphibious An...
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a move some historians say is the equivalent of the appointment of General Eisenhower to lead the Allies against the Nazis in 1942, Wile E. Coyote was deep selected by Secretary of Defense Ashton Carter to lead the 60 nation co...
BILLINGSGATE POST: In the on-going saga of Coyote vs Road Runner, an escalation engineered by the ever-devious Road Runner confused the GPS setting on the ACME HellFire missile, resulting in a total malfunction of the tracking device, causing it to...
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