Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Thursday, 28 May 2015

image for Big Red ACME Amphibious Anvil Machine Rolls Into Ramadi: Field Marshal Coyote Hums Tune

BILLINGSGATE POST: Reminiscent of General George Patton's counterattack in 1944 which liberated Germany from the Nazi regime, newly appointed Field Marshall Wile E. Coyote stood on the hood of his Hummer and watched as his Big Red ACME Amphibious Anvil Machine cranked-up and formed a two-fingered pincer movement directed toward Ramadi, the Capital of the Anbar Province.

As his new aide, General Stanley McSterling stood by, the wily Field Marshal began placing his anvils at strategic points that his ACME Intelligence Tech-reps indicated were likely places Abu Bakr al Baghdadi, the "Invisible Sheikh," was known to travel. Baghdadi, the titular head of ISIS, had a $10,000,000 dollar reward on his head.

"Invisible Sheikh, my ass!" howled the Field Marshall. "We got Hitler, and we got bin Laden. I guarantee you that I will have an anvil on his head before Obama signs a peace agreement with ISIS."

That evening, Field Marshall Coyote was heard humming:

"Ramadi...Ramadi, that toddlin' town
Ramadi, Ramadi, I will show you around, I love it
Bet your bottom dollar you'll lose your head in Ramadi
Ramadi, the town al-Baghdadi couldn't shut down."

*Reporting from Baghdad, your war correspondent, Dr. Billingsgate

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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