Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Sunday, 31 May 2015

image for Road Runner Clones Join ISIS: ACME Forces Drop Anvils Upon Hearing "BEEP! BEEP!"

BILLINGSGATE POST: Like Homer's Sirens, who lured Odysseus with their beautiful voices of doom as he sailed off the rocks of Scylla, the "BEEP! BEEP!" emanating from the Road Runner is now piercing the morning solitude from minarets in Ramadi, luring Road Runner clones to join ISIS fighters against the onslaught of the encroaching ACME anvils.

Anthropomorphically speaking, ACME has come a long way since the company invented the gravity powered anvil that was first used by Wile E. Coyote in his epic battles versus his natural enemy, the Road Runner. As with the ACME Sling-Shot device used by Coyote to propel himself at speeds necessary to catch his adversary, much has evolved since then. But nothing has prepared ACME for the Road Runner clones who seem impervious to advanced Western technology.

Odysseus ordered his crew to bind him to the mast of his ship and told them no matter how much he begged, they should not untie him, so alluring was the Sirens' song. This symbolism was not lost with the ACME Corporation. Knowing that they cannot stop the evolution of more sophisticated Road Runner clones, Technicians gifted with allegorical intuition are now working on an anvil model that can filter out the "BEEP! BEEP!" phenomena that is driving the Road Runner proselytizing effort.

Is Ramadi lost and Baghdad next? Only the Doctor knows.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: isis, ACME




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
69 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more