BILLINGSGATE POST: With snow reaching heights of 6 or more feet in the Boston area, reports of a creepy man dressed as a snowman are being investigated by Boston Police.
One lady, who did not want to be identified, reported that she was stepping out of the shower and felt what she thought was a cold carrot poking her in the buttocks.
Thinking that it was ridiculous that anyone with a carrot could reach her second story bathroom window, she initially ignored the probing, hoping that it would "just go away."
Looking out the window she saw two beady eyes, as black as coal, peering at her private areas. On the crest of a giant snowbank that reached just below the window seal, stood this ridiculously huge snowman.
Covering her ample breasts with her towel, while completely forgetting that the frozen carrot might still do some nefarious deed in the buttock region of her anatomy, she dived through the open window, making a perfect snow angel in the cold snow that melted away instantly with the heat of her body.
Free at last, she dialed 911, and when the cops came, she felt once more a whole woman. As the snowman was pushed into the back seat of the police car, she picked up the discarded carrot and threw it into the trash, knowing that she would never be the same again.