BILLINGSGATE POST: Does voting for a hair sniffing prevert indicate that the voter is possibly a latent prevert his/her/their/itself? (pick your pronoun). It sure seems so. There is an old philosophical principle that states, “actio sequitur esse”,…
BOSTON - (Satire News) - Vodka Vermicelli, a reporter with the iRumors News Agency has just learned that a bulldozer operator from "Bean Town," has collected over 900 photographs of the feet of famous female celebrities. The heavy machine operator…
Imagine being able to spend $100,000 on a massage. One might think that that would be much too much for even the most special of massages with the most special of masseuses in the most special of places. Deshaun Watson, however, has spent millions…
PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island – (Satire News) – A well-know pervert, who has been hanging around the downtown area of Providence for years, finally met his match yesterday afternoon. The perv who is the city’s most prolific flasher was standing on Ives…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking revelation from a man who is no stranger to saying and doing shocking things, now comes a new one. The President of the United States has just admitted to his BFF, Sean Hannity, that he was molested by the female p…
Experts have admitted that regular yoga classes can improve people’s health and mental wellbeing, with thousands of drooling perverts enthusiastically agreeing. Mike Roman, 47, from Chesum Under Pie, said: "I totally agree with the results of this...
Balimmoral Castle, Scotland - (Rotters): His Roil Highness Prince Jeffrey Epstein was inaugurated into the Most Ancient and Noble Order of the Gutter** in a lavish royal Scottish ceremony according to investiture documents published this weekend.
Aging rocker Mick Elliott says he loves playing small halls and theaters these days rather than large arenas and stadiums. It’s clearly a lie he tells himself because he could never fill up an arena if he paid people to attend. “You couldn’t pay m...
Pokémon Go! A light hearted game that has brought joy to millions inside and outside the UK. A harmless scavenger hunt designed to bring players together in the search for the elusive Mewtwo (or three). But what if the App had other more sinister ram...
We've all heard about people receiving organ transplants and then experiencing a change in personality, or even that woman who got a new arm only to be strangled to death by it, but imagine being the world's first recipient of a full eye transplant o...
Whitehaven, Vermont - Under increased scrutiny, Bernie Sanders sat down with a reporter from the New York Post to answer his critics. On why he is so popular in predominantly "white, middle class" towns with left-wing universities in them: "My...
BILLINGSGATE POST: With snow reaching heights of 6 or more feet in the Boston area, reports of a creepy man dressed as a snowman are being investigated by Boston Police. One lady, who did not want to be identified, reported that she was steppi...
A Judge in Wyoming has ruled that a man whom police say, began picking up young girls and flashing them for the past ten years has the right to have a DNA testing. Although police say they are absolutely sure they have the right guy because they h...
For women, accessories relate to dress and include such items as bows, tiaras, necklaces, bracelets, pins, rings, anklets, purses, shoes, and men with thick wallets. For men, accessories relate to vehicles, and include hubcaps, rims, wheels, racing stripes, cabin-mounted rifle racks, decals, and truck balls. Although men accessorize both cars and trucks, the latter are often decorated with raci...
Voyeurism is the pastime of spying on someone who is unaware of his or her presence. were the victim aware, he or she (usually, she) wouldn't be lolling around naked in the first place, especially in the presence, seen or unseen, of anyone else (unless she is also an exhibitionist). If the voyeur is hard up enough to ogle someone in secret and there is no one available to ogle, he will usually...
A campaign launches today to posthumously strip warped paedo Jimmy Savile of his name - and members of the public are urged to take part. The founders of the campaign believe that Savile should not be remembered as Jimmy Savile. They are instead c...
WAUKESHA, WI (ABSNN) - As if living in Wisconsin wasn't bad enough, Waukesha residents were "treated" to a 46-year-old man having intercourse with a couch, or to be exact, an abondoned love seat. Jerrard T. Streetor, of 2387 Cold Stream Place, Wau...
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