Written by Bad Granma

Friday, 26 September 2014


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image for New Zealand - Sex Three Times A Day To Be Made Compulsory
No sex after drinking

The Hedonist lobby in the New Zealand parliament has gained overall control of the Government with a majority of 69. Recent statistics show that New Zealand's favourite alcopop, "Binge" is going out of fashion with a possible correlation with a reduction in after Binge sexual activity. Due to the previous Government's "reduction of marketing and promotion of alcohol" policy the fundamental driver of heavy drinking in New Zealand has become less effective.

"Binge Drinking has fallen by 2,46%", the director of the National Sex After Alcohol Promotion Centre, Captain Cook told our New Zealand reporter this morning.

A new law making it compulsory for everyone over the age of 21 to consume at least three different brewery products and engage in a sexual activity three times per day has been approved to help the economy. But one economist has been crunching the numbers and reckons the watchdogs are vomiting up the wrong tree.

"There are plenty of people who are coming up with similar conclusions to those that I've come up with, that sex after Binge drinking is increasing " says College of Canterbury economist D.T. Crampon. "I just happen to jump up and down a little bit about it when people are trying to restrict my after drinking sex".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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