The Pope has accepted the plea from Theresa May, Brittain's Home Secretary, to look into the alleged sex scandals among the British Establishment.
'We do not want someone too close to Brittain' she told a rowdy House of Commons 'The Pope is the ideal man.'
It is thought the Pope will not peer too far into the misdeeds of powerful people in Brittain as he has sex scandals of his own which he wants to keep buried.
Meanwhile a shop in Aylesbury is under suspicion after a customer who asked for six candles was offered a brown paper parcel marked 'sex scandals' which had been in the shop's secret bank for several years.
Owner, Bob Russet, explained that after he had provided fork handles to a customer wanting four candles he always had candles ready for customers.
Russet was less forthcoming on the paper parcel marked sex scandal but said he thought the customer who asked for six candles was from MI5 or the Sun.